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We’re getting married in September 2017 and for both of us it is our second wedding. What can you tell us about weddings now after an interval of six years? Both or our first weddings were quite simple, but this time we’re going all out.
–JL, Buffalo, NY
- Pre-nuptial agreements can set a nasty tone. Unless the dos and don'ts of what points should be included - and which could be eliminated or altered - are made by agreement, work for both. Like any agreement, you have to compromise.
- What percentage of the guest list is taken up by the parents? At least sixty percent of the quests are those of the bride and groom. The other forty percent are divided between the parents of the wedding couple to include their closest friends and family members.
- There are problems when you invite young children to a formal or semiformal wedding. Children can be invited to the ceremony but not to the reception.That information has to be made clear on the couple's wedding website.
- Find a way to make the fathers and stepfathers feel they have a role by giving them specific responsibilities for the day of the wedding.
- Make the mother-of-the-groom feel included by asking for her advice and ideas.
- Come up with ways to maximize the photography investment.
- The problem with the cost of the wedding for attendants. The bridesmaids dresses and groomsmen's outfits should be affordable. When possible the hosts should offer to help cover expenses for attendants who are students or others who are known to be under financial strain.
- Be sure to include customs of the melding families in the various festivities.
- The timeline for the wedding festivites - and especially the ceremony and reception - are the key to a great wedding.
- Figure out your budget and who is paying for what.
- Design a monogram.
- As soon as you have a timeline, monogram, and wedding registry set up your wedding website.
- Choose between an online wedding registry or your favorite brick-and-mortor store early to help keep track of what you need.
- The bride should decide whether of not to take her husband's surname after the wedding.
- Someone should be appointed to be the point person on coordinating transportation.
- Listen to the band or DJ first hand before hiring.
- Be sure to get signed contracts from all the vendors: the hairdresser, videographer, florist, caterer, the band manager, wedding cake baker and chauffeur, etc.
- And don't forget to find out whether the tip is included in the cost of the contract.