Conversation Etiquette Archives

QUARANTINE BUBBLES PROTOCOL – SOCIAL BUBBLES – SOCIAL PODS
Creative Etiquette Solutions

QUARANTINE BUBBLES PROTOCOL – SOCIAL BUBBLES – SOCIAL PODS

How do we do the social bubble distancing? We’re bored to tears isolating. We love each other and our kids but spending every hour of every day together is too much for too long. We’ve done the Zoomtini with grownup friends and FaceTime a lot with family, but we’ve had enough of screens.

How can we spend time safely with friends and extended family? It seems forced and awkward trying to put together a bubble with one or two other families. Our kids’ closest friends have always been other kids they’ve been spending time with commuting in the school bus, playing soccer, lacrosse or pick up basketball. Their friendships, for the most part, didn’t include parents, except for the parents we mainly saw at home games.

How do we initiate the suggestion to other families and how do we know who to invite? What happens if it doesn’t work out? Or if they reject our invitation to start a bubble? How can we be sure they follow as rigidly the same social distancing and hygiene rules? How do we safely have a healthy social life again? People say they are being super careful, but are they really?

–Jennie, Brookline, MA

Hi Jennie, thanks for your questions about Quarantine Bubbles Protocol, social bubbles and social pods.

The risk of gathering together during the pandemic will change as time goes by. Warm summer weather is here just in time to allow for quarantine bubbles and social pods.

A double bubble is where two households meet outdoors and agree to adhere to social distancing guidelines in order to increase social contact. Having a picnic in a public place or taking turns for pizza in your backyard are a start. A household picks one other group to socialize with until lockdowns are further relaxed.

The bad news: Close and numerous social interactions with friends may need to be limited until a vaccine is available to all, modeling shows, to eliminated a second peaking of COVID-19. Recent studies in the UK found that under optimistic assumptions, contacts may have to be limited to 5-10 a day outside the home, and if 10% of previous contacts were resumed we would be at risk of a second peak of the virus outbreak.

The good news: The prospect of being in a bubble can give your family something to look forward to. Try forming a quarantine bubble consisting of a group of people or families whose members have been safely isolating; people who can eventually begin hanging out with other extremely cautious groups, as long as everyone obeys safety guidelines and agrees to be exclusive. At least that's what many European countries are doing as they begin to ease their lockdowns.

For instance, in Belgium, "Two sets of four people make a 'corona bubble' who can visit each other's homes. No one else is allowed into the domestic social circle." Eventually that first bubbles enlarges as trust and caution become the normal.

The trick is to go in light heartedly but with facts, "Hey, do you and your family want to join us in our quarantine bubble?" Then you go into detail about the guidelines your family has been following, including mention of how many times a week you go to the grocery store or/and gym and explain the routines you follow. If they're interested, they'll respond by telling you their routines about ordering groceries online and doing curbside pickups. Then suggest a picnic in a public space to see how everyone behaves.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and there will be other people interested in being part of a bubble, with the objective of eventually enlarging the bubble. Make it clear that if it doesn't click, the friendships will peter out and it will be obvious that it's time to find other people.

Keep in mind:

Social bubbles allow some social contact, while continuing to limit the risk of further Covid-19 transmissions.
The goal is to get to level 3 where your household bubble can include people such as close family members, care-givers or someone who needs care.
Beware that if the number of deaths does not continue to drop or the average number of people infected for every Covid-19 case increases, people will then not be allowed to use the bubble scheme.
Two sets of four people make a "corona bubble," who can visit each others houses but there are no hugs or other physical exchange like kissing.
In Northern Island now six people from different households can meet outdoors as long as social distancing is practiced.
Your social bubble is the people you live with. With extreme caution you can manage adding to your bubble.
Anyone experiencing coronavirus symptoms, or who is at a higher risk, should not be in a bubble, and needs to self-isolate.

As part of your first discussion:

When do you go out? For what reason?
Do you where a mask?
Do you keep 6 feet away from others?
When are you communicating with family?
What happens if someone in the bubble has symptoms of Covid-19?
What questions do you ask others?
What is the process for entering a bubble?
How would we set up protocol and etiquette?
What would be the protocol and etiquette?

Three things every member of the bubble must keep in mind:

There is the possibility of extending the bubble.
The bubble doesn't have to be forever.
The bubble gives everyone something to look forward to.

~Didi

OUTDOOR SOCIAL DISTANCING MANNERS — COVID-19 Etiquette
Creative Etiquette Solutions

OUTDOOR SOCIAL DISTANCING MANNERS — COVID-19 Etiquette

What is the etiquette for social distancing outdoors in terms of greeting and meeting during COVID-19?

How can we make the experience of going out to exercise less anxious and more friendly without seeming snooty or overly friendly. Everyone I am about to encounter either walks out into the street to avoid me or ignores me by looking in the opposite direction or at his feet.

–Jason, Providence, RI

Thank you, Jason, for your timely question about outdoor manners and etiquette in the time of COVID-19. Cabin Fever! We're all eager to get out of the house to walk, run, ride a bike, skateboard or buy groceries. When will this all be over? How do we keep active in a COVID-19 reality--our Pandemic Summer--while the country fortifies itself for the next phases of the pandemic, that will more than likely last until 2021. Personally, I feel as though my house is on fire and nobody told me to get out. Never in my lifetime, except for 9/11, have manners been more important. There's nothing new here. Respecting the space of others, respecting the time others spend helping one with mail, groceries, take out, curbside pickup or placing an order have never been more appreciated. It doesn't cost you anything to be nice. With summer in the near horizon, the urge to get out and about will be even greater. How can we make the whole experience of going out and about less anxious and more friendly when we're hiding behind masks? Because even teleworking from home, you're hiding behind a mask, or for that matter behind a computer screen of cellphone, that's no justification for rudeness. The customer service on the other end of the phone may be half way across the country, but she or he still has to go home to the same situation of isolation that you may have. In my children's high school there is a rule that is honored to this day. When passing someone--anyone--in the corridor, the stairway, the crosswalk, the sidewalk, bike or running trail, great each other. Whether you know them or not. Then keep walking. Just because you extend a greeting, even though you may not know their name, it doesn't mean you're obligated to chat them up. In fact, chatting is hard to do nowadays when you're six to twelve feet apart. Just a reminder:

Give right of way. The person on the right has the right of way. It's right to give right of way to the person on the right. When passing on a sidewalk or steps, the person closest to the street gives the person closest to the building or railing the right of way--even if she or he has to move out onto the street.
Greet even strangers with one word: Hi, Hello, Hiya! We're all in this together, whether we like it or not; their life right now probably isn't any easier than yours whether they're pushing a stroller, carrying groceries, or skateboarding.
Patience has never been more of a virtue.Always use please and thank you. To anyone and everyone who assists you in any way -- from holding the subway door open to bringing out your curbside grocery order to you.
Smile to ease their pain and yours -- even if they can't see your smile through your mask.

Masks are symbols as well as shields. They signify civic-mindedness and conscientiousness. In other words, masks get the message out that society is collectively acting against a serious threat. This will be apart of our day to day lives. If most people wear a mask in public, the transmission rate can entirely stop the spread of COVD-19.

My mask protects you;

your mask protects me.

Please feel free to text me with additional

suggests for these times at

#917-816-0800.

~Didi

INTRODUCING PEOPLE: MEETING & GREETING — POSTMODERN ETIQUETTE
Creative Etiquette Solutions

INTRODUCING PEOPLE: MEETING & GREETING — POSTMODERN ETIQUETTE

I’m concerned that I’m not introducing people properly. What is the proper way to introduce someone? How do you know who to introduce first? Who to shake hands with first when you’re in a mixed gender social or business situation?

My work colleague and I disagree on introducing etiquette and we’d like to have your advice.

–TG, Boston

Hello TG,

In postmodern etiquette, I'm of the opinion that a woman is always introduced first. She stretches out her arm and hand for the first handshake.

When there is more than one woman,

I would shake the hand of

the closest woman to me first.

In a situation where there

is an elderly person,

I would shake her or his hand first.

The exception socially would be if there was an elderly person or a known elected, appointed, or ordained official, such as a pope, senator, mayor, or rabbi. Although not a doctor or soccer coach. But in a formal situation, perhaps, a principal, headmaster, or the president of the New York Stock Exchange would be introduced first -- regardless of gender.

A transgender person would be identified by his or her first name, and if that's not clear because she or he is introduced as Brook, Alex, Alexis, Jackie, Jamie, Kelly, Lee, or Leslie, Morgan, Pat, Robin, Taylor, etc., the combination of their hair style, makeup, and clothing might possibly give you a clue.
So those who identify female would take the lead in introducing and shaking hands first.
In an all women or all men situation, the person who knows the person introduces their friend or colleague, even if s/he may know him/her by reputation only.

INTRODUCE YOURSELF: When the person you're with forgets to introduce you, step forward and say your name along with a tidbit of information to connect you and perhaps get the conversation going. "Josh Goodrich, George and I work together at GL&C."

Personal note: It irks me when I am in a professional situation and the husband (who shares my business interest) is introduced first, it feels disrespectful and I wonder if the wife's feelings are hurt.

Example: Make it clear when you will be my child's teacher and I am to call you Mrs. Spencer, and not Mary. By labeling yourself as Mrs, saying, "I'm Mrs. Spencer, I'll be your son's teacher next year." Then I know to teach Georgie that he has to call his teacher "Mrs. Spencer."

Introducing is key to networking.

Etiquette in business is

more important than you can imagine.

Relationship labels

Whether at work or play when introducing someone it is polite to identify your relationship as "my friend Amy," or "my office mate, Josh," or "work husband, Jeff."

In work situations, labels can be tricky. Is the person you're with your boss, your underling, your coworker? Best to label him or her as your "colleague"; "We work together," "We're on the same team at ..." "We used to both work at ..." "We met at Stamford."

In social situations, labels can be much dicer. Apparently, it's never "cool" to give a romantic unmarried relationship a label. Hopefully, at some point, after you've moved in together, you have the "What are we conversation," about how to label your relationship to make it less confusing for new, as well as old, acquaintances. Even if the relationship isn't "traditional" -- we all know that everyone does intimacy differently. Sometimes the pace is confusing, sometimes you just know. But give us a clue: "I want you to meet my girlfriend, Amy Scott." "Eric and I live together and he's the father of my two kids."

Social faux pas:

"It's nice to meet you!"

If you're meeting someone for the first time, how do you know that it is nice to meet them? You don't, unless ...
If your friend had previously told you how nice the guy is, then you can say, "Jake says you're a great guy (a hard worker, a super good tennis player)."

My point is this: try to be more creative -- even if you say, "Great tie," or "Beautiful scarf "... That's more original than saying "nice to meet you."

Meeting and greeting

struts your style

and sets the tone,

for better or for worse.

At the end of a meeting or double date, you can say, "Nice meeting you," or "It was great getting to know you."

Personal note:

Recently when I was introduced to a married couple the husband was introduced to me first, along with the nature of the connection that he and his wife shared with the person who was introducing us.

I made a horrible faux pas.

The husband stuck out his hand to shake mine, but I shifted toward his wife and shook her hand first, before shaking his. Was it a faux pas? In my mind, I knew to shake the hand of the wife first. What do you think?

~Didi

PHUBBING aka PHONE SNUBBING: THE SOCIAL FAUX PAS — POSTMODERN ETIQUETTE
Creative Etiquette Solutions

PHUBBING aka PHONE SNUBBING: THE SOCIAL FAUX PAS — POSTMODERN ETIQUETTE

How do I convince my girlfriend to breakup with her phone? It’s a real bore. She’s constantly checking it even when it pings with a text she could read later. Since she doesn’t wear a watch, she says she needs to know the time when she sees me watching her check her phone.

She can’t sit through a full-length movie or have an uninterrupted conversation, let alone a night out alone just the two us! Not only that, but she gets upset with social media and group texts. Last night she went ballistic after discovering she had been left off of a group text even though she was told it was a mistake, and she couldn’t give up her anger!

With a glance she’ll throw me the old “mmhmm,” once in a while pretending she’s listening, but I hardly consider that a conversation.

It’s like there are three of us in our relationship! Any ideas?

–PK, Brooklyn, NY

Cellphones may not be an addictive substance but they definitely are a species-level environmental shock. The good news is, digital wellness is on it's way! There are many solutions in the form of new devices to help unhook the brain from the harmful routines of smartphone use. and hooking it on to other ways to spend time, such as reading a real book, practicing yoga, etc.:

"Light Phone" - sets limits on time-stealing apps.
"Digital Detox" packages - are available in luxury hotels ($295.)
Set up mental speed bumps by putting a scrunchie or rubber band around your phone to make you stop and think before using.
Or change the screen lock to one that asks three questions: Why now? What for? and What else?
Be alone with your thoughts and pay more attention to your surroundings instead of your phone.
Toss out apps that don't make you happy.
People who don't charge their phones in their bedroom, use them less.

Detox will make one more attentive to being present in the moment, and able to spend more time listening--and less easily distracted. They say the average person picks up their phone 50 times a day as a way of coping with boredom and anxiety. UGH!

How you go about telling someone

to try some of these remedies?

Try them yourself.

Start with agreeing to stop charging phones in the bedroom.
Take 24 hours during a weekend for a joint "trial separation" from your phone(s).
The next step is a get-away-weekend without your six-inch glass-and-steel rectangles.
Make a goal of one hour a day for cellphone use--perhaps picking up your phone only 20 times.
When suddenly finding yourself sucked into your phone--self-correct.

Remind yourself that life is what you should be paying attention to and not the magical object that can order cannabis delivered to your door at midnight.

Look people in the eye and listen when they talk.

What to say about the poor etiquette of phubbing:

Phubbing is snubbing the one you're with.
Hey, put down that cellphone! You're snubbing me!
Stop phubbing your partner.
Get it into your head that phubbing is a bad, modern-day habit.
79% say phubbing hurts their ability to interact with their partners.
Using a handset while with a partner undermines the quality of the relationship.
Researches say phubbing is a relationship buster up there with money problems, bad sex and having kids.
There are increasing numbers of people in long-term relationships that feel they must compete with their partner's smartphone for attention.
Are you a nomophobe (no-mobile-phone phobia)? Scared to be without your mobile phone?

RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR PHONE ADDICTS

Keep the phone away from you on silent; for instance in a tote bag or backpack or up on a shelf.
When you feel you have to check on something legitimately important, give an explanation to your partner first and then check your phone.
Never be defensive when you get called out for technoference (the interference of technology in couple relationships)--it's somebody's way of telling you they'd like to connect in person.

Sorry you're feeling phubbed,

now do something about it, and

I don't mean installing a signal blocker

in your living room or bedroom.

~Didi

POSTMODERN ETIQUETTE & MANNERS: GHOSTING
Creative Etiquette Solutions

POSTMODERN ETIQUETTE & MANNERS: GHOSTING

My question is about the etiquette + manners of ghosting. She ghosted me and I want to know why?

After meeting on social media and messaging for months followed by months of dating, she’s disappeared. It’s like I can’t believe it. Over the past six months I fell hard.

I was actually worried that something terrible had happened to her. How was I to know she wasn’t still alive? So, of course, I started stalking her on social media. What I was looking for was evidence that she was 1.) still alive and functioning, 2.) she was seeing someone else. I almost wished that she wasn’t still alive, because it would be less painful and I could mourn her.

But there were no tributes to her posted by family and friends. Her posts were the same as always about fashion and friends. Friends, whom I thought were becoming my friend as well. Although, I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking to meet any of those friends for drinks to find out why she was ghosting me.

Why? I am supposed to be an upright, secure professional; smart enough to figure out matters of the heart and win her back without enlisting outside help.

Looking back at previous relationships, it seems I’ve been the one to break it off; either because I was going away to college, relocating to another city or simply wasn’t into drinking every night. In that case, I told her that she had a problem and that if she didn’t control her drinking, I couldn’t be with her anymore. Ultimately, it was her choice, she couldn’t face the fact that she was a drunk.

As far as I could see, there was nothing wrong with my current ex or with our relationship. Not a clue of another boyfriend or that she didn’t like being with me and the sex was outrageous. When she stopped returning messages, I asked her why she wasn’t replying and to tell me what was wrong. In the past, she always replied quickly. Now, nothing.

I tried to get her to meet me, and I almost waited for her outside of work, but decided that ambushing her would put her in an uncomfortable position; especially if someone was with her. I’m not going to spy on her.

Even if she messaged me, “it’s not you, it’s me” the blow would be softened. Or if she said, “I’m really busy,” but of course I would be able to see that she wasn’t too busy to be posting on Instagram.

What should I do? Last month I bought her pearl earrings she admired for Valentine’s Day, which I should probably return.

–Jack, Brooklyn, NY

Hello Jack, Come what may, whether ghosting is a human issue or a technological one, return the pearl earrings. You can't mourn your ex-girlfriend, because she is still alive. Accept that ghosting is a ghastly dating trend and go back on the dating app and ask trusted friends to set you up. Unless she's blocked you, she'll see that you're dating again. As a last resort, simply delete your dating apps. GHOSTING (also called SUBMARINING) is a dangerous, hurtful game. Ceasing contact without so much as an "it's me, not you," is rude. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Welcome to being one of the 80%+ of millennials that admit to being ghosted.

Investigate new features, such as from Hinge, that send the message "Your Turn" as a follow-up to all messages sent. Some give fair warning: "NO GHOSTING ON BUMBLE." Use apps that encourage feedback from the recipient.

Looking for an addictive dopamine hit? We get the game being played on social media. Under the guise of introducing you to a potential mate, they keep you coming back for a fix--a dozen, two dozen more swipes. Apps that gamily search for love--sometimes in all the wrong places--that is nothing more than monogamous romance, through instant gratification of having a possible match pop up with a swipe! Is she the one?

Some see the rise in ghosting as an intrinsically technology-driven problem.
Some blame the childlike behavior (as in the childish word 'ghosting') on the narcissist who doesn't respect the rules of the game and consequently hurts other people's feelings again and again.
Others blame the game on the anonymity offered by a screen, the sense that the world is their oyster and swiping is their knife to finding the right match--after opening the oyster to find the perfect pearl they can do anything they want.
In that vein, bad behavior becomes bad manners and etiquette.

One of the first things we strive to teach children is to be sensitive to other people's feelings. Your ex-girlfriend didn't get that important lesson. Not all oysters produce pearls. Return the pearls.

~Didi

IS A FIST BUMP OR ELBOW BUMP GOOD ETIQUETTE?
Creative Etiquette Solutions

IS A FIST BUMP OR ELBOW BUMP GOOD ETIQUETTE?

My question is about whether or not a fist bump or elbow bump is good etiquette?

I always wonder how to react after you’ve said, “Hi,” because I must confess that I’m becoming slightly germaphobic. The holiday germ spreading season is upon us, and I’m not what you call an air kisser. I’m going to either kiss you or not, but what I don’t want to do is shake hands. No matter how much I like you.

Fisting doesn’t make sense because germs are still on the hands.

After a recent tennis game, where it is customary to shake hands after you’re through playing, I begged off shaking hands with the excuse that I had a scratchy sore throat. Without having thought it through, I said I probably caught the bug from one of my small children, and that I didn’t want to spread germs. But wouldn’t my germs be on any tennis balls I’ve touched? Probably.

My opponent quickly suggested an elbow bump and we touched elbows. We lifted our right arms and bumped elbows. Fine with me. But at a holiday gathering with a wine glass in one hand, fisting or elbowing doesn’t feel like proper manners. What’s the good etiquette alternative?

–Elizabeth, Charleston, SC

Elizabeth, a fist bump or elbow bump is good etiquette when two people agree to the bumping of those body parts. When socializing we usually don't have the option of discussion when a pair of heavily liquored lips smack you in the face at a holiday gathering. You initiate politeness by trying to dodge having that kiss land target on your lips by hoping the offering of a cheek will do. But perhaps we should be questioning: why does the other person feel they have a right to initiate that kiss in the first place? It is so controlling. Especially when they raise their eyes to see who is watching you being kissed -- an all too familiar act between near strangers -- by a friend, but not a bedfellow.

You asked about the good etiquette, which has always been that the woman extends her hand first for a handshake, or offers a kiss on the cheek by cocking her head, initiating the physical contact. Perhaps she'll be rebuffed, but it is her purgative. Unlike the elbow or fist bump, which more than likely has been agreed upon.

When a person senses that the person they've just run into is going in for a full body hug, he or she stretches out their right arm, and points to their bent elbow.

The person going in for the greeting hug picks up on the body language, captures the nuance ritual as his own, and bumps elbows.

Stick to the hygiene:

Elbow bump and fist bump where two people touch elbows or fists are both informal ways of greeting someone you already know or whom you know of through a mutual friend..

In 2004, it was Shaquille O'Neal who first demonstrated the derivative nature of the elbow bump in relation to the fist bump when meeting up with Kobe Bryant.

By 2009 'elbow bump' was considered for word of 'the year' by the NEW OXFORD AMERICAN DICTIONARY.
Interest in the elbow bump as an informal greeting took hold during the 2006 avian flu scare, the 2009 swine flu outbreak, and by the time of the 2014 Ebola threat, USA health officials were supporting the use to prevent the spread of germs.
By 2011, The World Health Organization and The Association for the Advancement of Science -- as well as many colleges -- had already endorsed and encouraged the elbow bump as the polite customary greeting.

Obviously at a holiday party you're probably not going to be offering an elbow bump while coddling a cocktail in your other hand. But you can use your free hand to stave off the awkwardness of an unwanted kiss by gently placing that hand on the other person's shoulder to keep your space at an arm's length distance.

Then. if you must, in the moment say, "You wouldn't want to catch my scratchy throat." Or, "You wouldn't want what I'm just getting over." And they won't.
Personally, as a greeting, I'm a big fan of the queen's wave. A slight wave of the right hand mimicking the blade on your windshield during a drizzle. It helps to keep that modicum of distance in a busy gathering, or when bumping into someone in the neighborhood.

~Didi

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SAYING YOU ARE WELCOME
Creative Etiquette Solutions

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SAYING YOU ARE WELCOME

When did the expression “You are welcome” slide from fashion? When I thank someone for helping me in some small or large way and I say, “Thank you,” I miss hearing the reply “You’re welcome.”

How do we bring back saying, “You’re Welcome”?

–Grace, Hilton Head, SC

Don't stop using "You are welcome." Preserve the dialogue of gratitude. Keep using "You're welcome," and people won't take it for granted.

What you have to remember about saying "you're welcome," is that it ends the dialogue. What do you say in response to "You're welcome"? You don't have to say anything.

~Didi

Knowing When To Use A First Name
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Knowing When To Use A First Name

When is it appropriate to call your elders by their first name?

–OP, Chicago

Thanks for your great question asking about when it's appropriate to call your elders by their first name.

Of course, it could depend upon the age difference between you, as well as the nature of the relationship.

The protocol is that you would wait until the older person asked you to call her or him by their first name.

There are exceptions: when the elder is your relative or a long-time friend.

You've known your friend's parents since you were a small child and always called your friend's mom Charlotte and the dad Charles.

Often with parents of friends, take the cue from the formality of their friend's relationship with their parents as to how their parents wish to be addressed.

If your friend calls them "mother" and "father," then you would probably call them Mrs. Brown or Mr. Brown, unless asked to do so otherwise.
On the other hand, if your friend calls her/his parents Dick and Jane, no doubt you're already calling them Dick or Jane.

In a situation where the older person is your employer, you would wait to be invited by Mrs. Brown to call her by her first name.

Or if a fellow employee says, "It's alright to call the boss George. He likes us to call him by his first name."

When in doubt, go by the standard of protocol until the person has said to you, "Oliver, please call me Didi."

When you've known the older person a lengthy time, and you're not an employee, it is perfectly acceptable to ask, "May I call you Didi?"
Or a future daughter-in-law might say to her mother-in-law, "What would you like me to call you?" Then the mother-in-law would say, "Please, call me, Louise."

If, say, you think your mother's known your girlfriend long enough to be on a first name basis and you want Zoe to call your mother by her first name, suggest to your mother that she tells your girlfriend to, "Please, call me Louise."

Any further questions? We're here to help.

~Didi

The Taboo of Outing Death
Creative Etiquette Solutions

The Taboo of Outing Death

Talking about death is my subject.

My girlfriend has become radically dark. She talks about death even though she’s healthy and she’s only 24. I love her, but when she goes darkish, it scares me.

I don’t like to hear her talking about death all the time, What do I do?

–AG, Portland, OR

Talking about death is never pleasant.

There is a mindfulness app for that. As a Valentine's gift, for 99 cents a month, sign your girlfriend up to receive WeCroak. Each day she'll be randomly sent five chilling reminders that death is inevitable.

The subject line will be like this, "Death Makes You Happy," to remind her that time on earth is indefinite and has an expiration date.

The theory is based on Bhutanese folklore that proclaims that to be truly happy we ought to think about death five times a day.

Contemplating death is supposed to help one get a grip on life when faced with mortality.

They say talking about death helps people find inner peace.

According to the New York Times, talking about death is trending when apps such as WeCroak reminds over nine thousand users five times a day that they can find inner peace by reminding them that they're going to die through the words of, perhaps, the Zen poet Gary Snyder.

Mostly in their twenties and thirties, they're breaking the taboo of talking about death.
The reminders arrive "at random times and at any moment just like death," writes Bianca Bosker in The Atlantic.

If your girlfriend is using her iPhone as a source for clarity and peace, instead of as a stressful distraction, WeCroak could make her happier.

According to a survey by the research firm Discout, your girlfriend may be trying to get away from checking her phone 76 (the average) times a day (roughly about two and a half hours), in the hope of finding the here and now.

Bosker concluded: "Amid growing concerns over phone fixation, Silicon Valley has, in typical fashion, proposed technology as the solution; there are now more than 1,000 mindfulness apps designed to help us disconnect."

Other mindfulness apps:

Headpeace: which has been downloaded over 18 million times, provides mediation sessions led by a former Buddhist monk.
Calm: this app is all about guided mediation with soothing soundtracks and has had over 14 million downloads.

~Didi

Trump’s Profanity Is Ill-Mannered and Poor Etiquette
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Trump’s Profanity Is Ill-Mannered and Poor Etiquette

My question is about President Trump’s profanity.

What do you tell your teenagers when they ask you why the president of the United States gets away with using foul language and having sex with prostitutes when they’re not allowed to use vulgar words?

–EL, Providence

About presidential behavior, specifically President Trump's profanity.

To quote the New York Times, "Trump has turned the culture wars upside down." It's blowback.

We're revisiting the naughty nineties, a decade of sexual scandals and cultural upheavals.

In Michael Wolfe's book Fire and Fury, Steve Bannon is quoted as telling the author about Trump's lawyer Marc Kasowitz: "Kasowitz on the campaign -- what did we have, a hundred women? Kasowitz took care of all of them."

We have a president who paid off a porn star for sex while his new wife was having his baby! (Don't tell your teens that.)

We are living in a brutal sexual culture. Clearly, talking straight about sex to your teens is necessary, and, yet, you don't want to sensationalize bad behavior.

~Didi

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