As a guest, do I toast the hostess and host on behalf of our side of the family? We’re having a holiday dinner at the home of our daughter-in-law’s parents for the first time. I don’t know what’s expected.
Does it matter whether my wife gives the host or do I have to? Public speaking is not my thing and under pressure I’m apt to stutter.
–JW, Providence, RI
How to be a great toaster isn't as complicated as you think. You can even use a crib note.
Overcome your speaking challenges for the holidays.
Make your toast as brief as possible.
Only a sentence or two is needed at a holiday dinner.
Be a great toaster
Rehearse your two or three sentences in the mirror ahead of time.
Make eye contact with those assembled but certainly don't stare at the same the person the whole time.
Handle nerves and don't fiddle with the hand that isn't holding your glass.
You don't have to be a storyteller. Give a natural toast that sounds as though you sincerely appreciate spending time with all who have come together to celebrate...
People love a toast, even a bad one. Toasts aren't only given by men, so bow to your wife and let her deliver the toast.
The important thing about giving a toast is to look at her or him to reply in gratitude.
If you're the guest of honor, you could give the first toast.
When there isn't a guest of honor -- such as the birthday boy -- usually the host gives a welcoming toast.
Following the welcoming toast any guest can gently tap their glass, stand, and briefly express their appreciation to the host or hosts.
Hold the glass by the stem
while you make your toast.
~Didi
Read More…
How To Tastefully Toast With Authentic Style and Grace
How To Tastefully Toast With Authentic Style and Grace
What is the best way of going about giving a toast?
After toasting the host at a party the other night, I was mortified when the person next to me reprimanded me for the way I pinged glasses with her. She said the real way to clink after a toast was to make eye contact. She went on to say, “The French become suspicious of you if you don’t made eye contact while toasting.”
Never before had I even considered that making eye contact clinking flutes was a prerequisite to toasting. Is it really?
–Ava, Dover, Delaware
From now on make eye contact with anyone you are clinking glasses with and add a smile. Although, be careful.
In some cultures making eye contact is considered impolite.
Even in the USA, you'll find that certain people avoid eye contact - period. Especially Native American and Native Alaskan cultures.
Also, many Asian do not adhere to the practice of going eye ball to eye ball.
In cultures where eye contact is made only among their peers, eye contact could be considered rude or arrogant coming from someone from another cultural level.
In much of America intense continuous eye contact - unless it is during an intimate romantic moment - can be interpreted as odd or even hostile.
My questions is about the etiquette of toasting. In a nutshell, I need tips on giving a toast. As a guest at a New Year’s Eve dinner party, how do I go about giving a toast?
–TB, Charleston, SC
Six top etiquette tips for toasting:
Ahead of time practice what you wish to say. Even if it is as simple as "Let's all raise our glasses to our hosts Marjorie and William!" Practice what you plan to say ahead of time. Do not ever read a toast.
The host usually gives the welcoming toast. If he or she hasn't made a toast by dessert, any guest can start the toasting by praising the hosts for such a delicious dinner.
Rise to the occasion. When there are more than four guests at the table, stand with your glass in your hand and straighten out your arm toward the center of the table to ask your fellow guests to raise their glasses in toasting your hosts, Marjorie and William, for a splendid New Year's Eve.
Clinking of the glasses usually is not done when there are more than six guests at the table because the logistics don't allow for clinking everyone's glass without walking around the table.
Make the toast all about the host(s) and not about yourself. You can say, "It is an honor for me to toast our hosts ...." The exception would be if you didn't know most of the guests, only then would you say, "As William's oldest brother, George, I would like to thank William and Marjorie for having me to stay over New Year's and giving me the opportunity to meet all of you."
The best toasts are short and to the point, and no more than two minutes long. They should never be maudlin, even if there was a recent death in the family. Find the right toast to make all the guests smile. You're not roasting the person, you're toasting him. It goes without saying that you would never embarrass your host with tales about how naughty and wild he was in his youth, or about his former sweethearts.
A few quick simple toasts:
May the best of this year be the worst of next.
May it be the best year yet for you, and everything you do may prosper.
Let's drink to the maker of the feast, our friend and host. May his generous heart, like his good wine, only grow mellower with the years.
May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. -an old Irish saying
To the sun that warmed the vineyard, to the juice that turned to wine, to the host that cracked the bottle, and made it yours and mine.
A few quick simple toasts:
