Office Parties Archives - Newport Manners

Holiday Office Party Rules and Protocol for Professionals
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Holiday Office Party Rules and Protocol for Professionals

About the current rules for holiday office parties.

With the winner of the Time magazine person of the year the collective of women who have spoken out and are still speaking out about sexual assault and harassment, I feel a certain chill has come over Christmastime merrymaking.

Meanwhile predators are speaking up in denial sending a huge mixed message that some can get away with it while others cannot. What should we know when attending a Christmas office party?

–AD, Hoboken, NJ

Keep in mind the fact that the holiday office party is not the last time you will be seeing everyone in the office -- bright and early the following morning.

To play the game of office politics, you have to know the rules. To win respect you have to remember the protocol.

You must

dress appropriately, meaning dress festively.
remember that the holiday party is ruled by the good manners of the office.
have good hygiene, you're not off the grid.
turn off your cellphone.
keep track of your alcohol intake.
behave in a professional manner at all times.
keep the vibes convivial, it is not the time for petty grievances, revenge, gossip or political debate.
never bring a plus-one, SO, or spouse unless the invitation specifies that you can bring a guest. Guests don't bring guests -- and remember even at an office party, you are a guest.
be sure to wear your name tag on the right side, because it will be more visible.

try to keep your glass in your left hand to allow your freed right hand to shake hands.
remember that people will be watching and taking notes, which is why you keep your hands to yourself.
before departing, thank your host.
remember that you never want to be the last person standing.
report any sexual assault to #MeToo or #BalanceTonPorc.

You must never

miss the office party or arrive too late -- even if you have to pay a babysitter extra or miss finishing a report.
grope, grab, slap on the back, kiss or hug, without saying, for instance, "Can I give you a hug?"
talk and eat at the same time because food can go shooting out of your mouth.
drink too much.
discuss work matters, unless your boss asks you a direct question.
make a fool of yourself.
take a call, but you can look for messages and go outside the party to text or return the call.
forget to thank the host.

A recent survey of 150 human resources representatives found that the number of office parties will be the same this year, however, only 47.8 percent of employers will be offering alcohol -- down from 62% in 2016.

Holiday gatherings are taking a low-keyed turn toward focusing on team building such as volunteering to work on community projects.
Others are limiting the amount of alcohol by providing no more than two tickets for alcohol cocktails.

#Me Too #BalanceTonPorc

~Didi

3 Simple Guidelines for Office Parties
Creative Etiquette Solutions

3 Simple Guidelines for Office Parties

What are the guidelines for an office party? This year we’ve been told employees are not getting a year-end bonus because repairs have to be made to the building. However, we suspect that some people are secretly getting bonuses. To improve morale the company is hosting a holiday party with a buffet dinner and open-bar in an Italian restaurant, which is several steps up from our usual holiday party.

Honestly, most of us would rather have the cash than the party. In the past the office party was only for employees. Would it be bad etiquette to ask if we can invite our spouse, or partner, since this is a night out rather than a BYO — consisting of a couple of glasses of warm plonk wine or beer and cold, greasy pigs-in-the-blanket held in the main conference room?

–KW, Providence

What you need to keep in mind is that before the year-end bonus there were only rowdy holiday office parties where it was sporting to sweet talk a secretary into a wet kiss while the 'male room boy' puked in the men's room. Then the office party plus the year-end bonus, which caused jealousies, became the norm. Now both are too much, everybody's pulling back and simplifying. Since the wheels are already in place for the holiday office party, you don't want to mess with that. Nonetheless, there are three beneficial things you can do.

Early next fall organize a couple of your coworkers to lobby for a year-end bonus instead of a party for next December -- even if the bonus isn't as hefty as in the past.

In the meantime, you can definitely ask if the dinner invitation for this year is for you and your spouse/partner, because it is a night out away from your partner. Look at it this way, if the boss were inviting you for dinner at his house, your partner would be included in the invitation.

Lastly, since you're not receiving a bonus this year, why not request a year-end performance review; if the review is good or better, ask for a raise.

3 simple office party guidelines everybody knows:

Don't get drunk. Don't say embarrassing things to your boss's partner. Don't get caught kissing in the utilities closet.

~Didi

Guidelines for The Secret Santa Gift
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Guidelines for The Secret Santa Gift

Every year we employees are pushed into buying an under-twenty dollar gift for our Secret Santa present. My family does not celebrate nor support Christmas, and even though most of the people I work with know this, they still think I’m a bad sport when I say I don’t want to participate. The secret santa presents are given out at the Christmas party, which I would rather not attend. How do I get out of this office ritual?

–SR, Portland, OR

This is the best Secret Santa gift idea for 2015. Before everyone has bought a Secret Santa present, suggest that they be creative and try something different, because by now everyone has received their 'Best Boss' coffee mug. How about the gift of reading? For instance, suggest that you all shine a light on the 50-year-old nonprofit Reading Is Fundamental (ReadingIsFundamental.org), that has given millions of books away to children age eight or younger all over the world; where fifty e-books, in English and Spanish, can currently be dowloaded at RIF.org/50ebooks free of charge as of December 1, 2015.

Who can find fault with donating to an established worldwide charity whose goal is vital nourishment? If your colleagues agree to give their twenty dollars to pay for ebook gifts for young children, that's something to be grateful for. In exchange, attend the office Christmas party and make a toast to everyone who contributed to Reading Is Fundamental.

~Didi

The Secret Santa Who Has Had It
Creative Etiquette Solutions

The Secret Santa Who Has Had It

This secret Santa thing at the office is a real bore. We’ve been doing it for too long and nobody really cares.

How can we stop a tradition that has worn out its welcome? Every year the cost of the gift goes up. Half the time I don’t really respect the person I have to give a gift to. We all seem to think we have to keep our Secret Santa mug despite the chip and crack. How do we liven Christmas up around here?

–H.R., Detroit

Before the holidays next year take an anonymous vote to discontinue the tradition. However, on the ballot coworkers have to come up with another idea of how to celebrate the holidays with camaraderie. Such as -- Let's just have a beer after work on the appointed day. Encourage those who vote to keep the Secret Santa tradition to come up with a fresh idea, say, Foodie Secret Santa, which would mean no mugs, chotskies, and knick-knacks in favor of gourmet snacks. Who can find the hottest spiced nuts?

~Didi

Air Kissing
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Air Kissing

Is air kissing rude or not? We’re taking a poll in our office about what the etiquette is on air kissing. Please, help us out.

–Adele, Jersey City, NJ

Air kissing is vaguely impersonal although more friendly with a warm smile and short intensive eye contact -- the power gaze. Blowing an air kiss is a greeting half way between a windshield wiper hand wave and skin-on-skin facial contact. Best blown from across the room or on your way in or out of a crowded space. The social nuance of the air kiss is, "Good to see you, we'll catch up later." In a more flirtatious manner -- "our future is in the air." As the holidays approach, along with large and small celebrations, it's good to remember that air kissing is the most sociable way to greet without catching someone's cold or passing along yours. Unlike a social kiss that can be creepy and try-hard, the air kiss can be a blow off. Watch out for those irritating kissing interlopers who only kiss when they can be seen in close comfort with you. In any event, it's mostly vanity. Who wants to smudge their freshly applied lipstick while giving a big wet smack on the lips? It depends on the situation.

~Didi

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