Social Sites Archives - Newport Manners

Sharing STD Information
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Sharing STD Information

The toughest part of flying solo and dating after a decade of being married is the etiquette of how to find out sooner rather than later that the person you’re romancing on Tinder is STD-free. I’ve already had one STD, before I met my ex-husband, and that was wicked enough for a lifetime. Don’t want to go there again. How do I bring up the subject? G

–G.W., Providence

In a perfect world, dating sites and app profiles would provide a person's STD free status. However, sites like Tinder and Grindr, to all appearances, aren't advocating safety and good health, although they could easily take the itch out of the hairy question of STDs. They're too hungry for ad revenues and don't care about slashing the spread of STDs. What a missed opportunity. When taking into account that 9 billion matches alone have been made by Tinder to date, its a no-brainer that Tinder should encourage members to come out about whatever sexually-transmitted diseases they are harboring. One dating site alone reports 26 million matches per day.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 20 million new cases of STDs are diagnosed annually in the US, affecting 50% of the young adult population between the ages of 15-24. Chances are, G.W., you were once included in that statistic.
Obviously, we're losing the war on stopping the epidemic of sexually-transmitted diseases with 1.2 million people when 50% or more of new Gonorrhea and Chlamydia diagnosis occur in 20-29 year-olds.
In addition, the CDC reports that syphilis is on the rise with 20,000 new cases in 2014, 91% of which were diagnosed in men. Ouch! And nobody is taking about this.
Who knew that out of the 72% of gay men ages 18-39 who are currently using dating sites and apps, 12.8 % are more than likely to be HIV positive and don't know they are infected.

Responsively, we're starting to see the bright side in the form of companies such as Mately that are pushing dating sites and apps into partnering up. Apparently, if you're bold enough to share the results of your STD tests, there is a way to do so. The Mately app allows users to share information about their STD tests digitally. After you've used Mately's personal do-it-yourself kit in the privacy of your home, send the sample to the Mately lab for analysis. You will be notified privately online of the results. couple holding hands and walking in a park

couple holding hands and walking in a park

Getting tested doesn't have to be intimidating and time-consuming with an at home testing kit. You don't have to go to a clinic or make a doctor's appointment. Before that first date you could know if he or she has a clean bill of health.

Simply mail your sample to the Mately lab for the most advanced Early-Detection FDA-approved tests; you'll receive your results online. You take it from there with control over what you share with whomever.
A successful test allows you to place the Mately member badge on your dating site profiles or show it privately when asked. (It sure beats producing a slip from your local clinic with your happy results.)

Video Link: https://youtu.be/vAkNWZJwAJM herpes5-optimised

~Didi

My Boyfriend — The Texter — Relationships
Creative Etiquette Solutions

My Boyfriend — The Texter — Relationships

With Valentine’s Day approaching, I’m contemplating dropping my boyfriend ‘the Texter,’ as my friends call him, because he prefers a 2-D relationship to spending real time with me. I want to tell him face to face that occasional sexting doesn’t compensate for warm and cuddly or spontaneous conversation. I want to read his facial expressions and interpret the tone of his voice. Is that too much to ask from someone who he calls me his girlfriend?

–AGT, Brooklyn, NY

Think of texting as maintenance. Obviously there is a right way of texting to strengthen your relationship and knowing there's a wrong way that only creates distance. There are things you shouldn't be texting about. For instance new information that could leave one of you wondering during the downtime, when you're not texting, that something is new or amiss. Just because you can tell anything to anyone at anytime doesn't mean you necessarily should. For instance, if you had applied for a new dream job that came through and he waited a couple of hours to text back "Gratz!" Wouldn't you be annoyed that he waited so long and didn't seem as thrilled as you would have liked him to be, if you had waited to tell him in person? Level with him. You're not on the same playing field. You're looking for romance and he's still into his x-box. Maybe it is time to move on. Tell him how you feel. Set guidelines about spending time together. Tell him you both have to save the important conversations like your acing your dream job -- or wanting to break up with him because you you two don't get enough face time -- so that he can see your glow when you're with him, or you his disappointment that you're dumping him.

~Didi

Most Annoying Social Media
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Most Annoying Social Media

Some people have too much time on their hands sitting in traffic or behind a desk, or watching TV, so they resort to fidgeting with social media to wile away the hours. Checking for updates to see who liked and shared their (and their ‘friends’) latest posts and who attended which party, and in which swell pub or restaurant they are imbibing and dining. As much as I love family and friends, enough is enough. How can I avoid being that annoying person who whittles away time addicted to social media? I’m just as guilty as they are.

–S.S., Los Angeles

About cutting back on annoying social media. You can pull back by blocking the more irritating sharers and editing back on a couple of your own annoying topics. A recent U.K. study highlighted the most annoying social media topics. The most egregious, unsurprisingly, are posts on diet and exercise, promoting the latest miracle shake -- Shakeology -- or bragging about their conquest in the marathon. Let whoever shot the photo of you at the finish line post the share. Then there are the meal and recipe sharers, who have discovered the quickest way to peel the skin off of an avocado or to make pastries in the shape of roses. Along with the signature dish at the latest name-drop restaurant that happens to have just arrived as your dinner. Send those food clips only to your foodie friends.

Gaming invitations seem to be on the wane until the next batch of virtual gambling descends upon us, but the baby photos are full force out of control. Not just the parents, but the grandparents and friends of friends are cooing and ooh-ing. Maybe don't go public with those shares. Send them to Family + Close Friends. Likewise with the selfies, you really don't want your work colleagues knowing that you enjoy pole dancing on girls' night out.

On the other hand, those who share too much about themselves need our empathy. How do we 'Like' the fact that their dog died? It's confusing. If you Like the post that their dog died, what exactly do you like? The feeling that you're supporting your friend in their grief? Does that really translate as sharing in their mourning process? Send a card. Yes, we love watching an occasional video of a mother elephant and her calf frolicking, but not more than once a day. Event spammers, tweet your event date only a couple of times, because too many reminders may encourage us not to go. They are in the same class as self-promoters. Can anyone be more annoying?

~Didi

My Girlfriend Has A Weird Addiction to Social Media
Creative Etiquette Solutions

My Girlfriend Has A Weird Addiction to Social Media

What do I say to my live-in girlfriend who has a weird addiction to social media? She is obsessed with her phone and iPad. Checks them all the time for updates when out to dinner on a date, during a movie, even in church at her uncle’s funeral. I’m feeling there are three of us in this relationship?

–John, Los Angeles, CA

It is OK to be worried. 52% of fatal crashes are cellphone-related. This may seem like an addiction, but it isn't one. It is social interaction. Your girlfriend conducts her social life via text. Whether we like it or not, smartphones have become amazingly valuable as extensions of ourselves on an unconscious level. Glued to the palms of our hands, the phone has become the way we connect with the world and the people in it. For better or for worse cellphones have become our voice when we wish to communicate. Not only have they become our brains for accessing instant information, but our memory for schedules and contact info, photos and videos that we record and store, etc.. Stuff that otherwise would not not have been recorded and saved. Sometimes a cellphone seems to be more important than a romantic partner. Nonetheless, even when cellphones are nor being used, their mere presence divides attention, which is why banning them on dates would not make sense. She would still be wondering what she was missing. The solution is to bargain for compromise. They are there, but you don't use them while you're having dinner, nor do they vibrate in bed. Talking about the problem will help you two sort this out. Watching a movie, give her the option to ignore the call or text or go in the other room to respond. Set up guidelines, just the way you do with figuring out housekeeping and who does what in the relationship.

~Didi

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