Dress Code Archives - Newport Manners

Wedding Guest Dos + Don’ts — Red Dress Code
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Wedding Guest Dos + Don’ts — Red Dress Code

My best friend says that I cannot wear my new knockout red dress to an upcoming wedding because it is not appropriate wedding guest dress code attire to wear a bright red dress. Red is my color and the style is my lucky style!

Why does she think I shouldn’t wear a red dress to our mutual friend’s wedding? It’s a beautiful bright and happy dress!

–Lucy, Newport, RI

Hi Lucy,

Red is a truly gorgeous color and since you can wear red -- and not all of us can -- it seems like a natural to you, but put the red dress aside for another special occasion. Red is the foremost attention-grabbing color.

*In many circles, it is considered poor etiquette to wear a red dress to a wedding , because it is an act of rudeness to the bride -- and might even bring you bad luck.

There are not as many dos and don'ts to wedding dress code etiquette as you might expect, but wearing a red dress is at the top of the list.

All eyes should be on the bride -- who, by the way, is the only person wearing an all-white dress at her wedding.

A red dress at any wedding is a distraction. By wearing a red dress you would be saying to those assembled, "Look at me!"

There are many beautiful less obvious reddish hues that you could wear that won't make you stick out as blatantly as bright red. Go with any shade of light or dark coral or pink, such as: blush, cherry, ruby, currant.

Going into fall and winter the colors, burgundy, wine, cranberry, blush, ruby and berry would all be more subtle shades of red. Stay away from bright red, rose, scarlet, candy red, and crimson.

In the photo below, your eyes immediately go to the women wearing red dresses first -- before they gaze at the bride.

All eyes should be on the bride on her wedding day.
It would be incredibly rude to try to upstage the bride on her special day.

~Didi

Wedding Guest Dress Code — Do I Have to Wear A Dress to My Stepson’s Wedding?
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Wedding Guest Dress Code — Do I Have to Wear A Dress to My Stepson’s Wedding?

My question is about wedding guest dress code. My stepson is getting married this October, an outdoor wedding at 4:00 pm. His biological mother will also be at the wedding. What is the appropriate attire for me? I’m 70, petite and haven’t worn a dress in years.

I would consider wearing a dress, just haven’t a clue what to look for.

–Ann, Savannah, GA

Dear Ann,

How formal is your stepson's wedding? That's the first thing you'll need to find out. A four o'clock wedding starting time does not necessarily have a Black Tie wedding dress code. If the dress code is Black Tie, the women will be wearing either an evening dress, a dressy cocktail dress, or a dinner suit, all of which go with the men's tuxedo dress code.

Can you chat up the future bride, her mother, the future groom's mother, or even a mutual family friend? Start by asking them what they will be wearing. Say that you don't want to show up in the same dress but you do want to wear a outfit similar in length (knee length, mid-calf of ankle length), style (strapless, sheath with a matching coat, of an evening suit) and color, but not exactly the same color.

I'm going to stick my head out on a limb and say that since you're not into wearing dresses, you may find that a special occasion jacket with a skirt or dressy slacks is more your style.

I also think that an outdoor wedding may call for a lovely jacket.

See below the beige jacket that we like for you from the Gramercy Atelier that would be comfy and chic to wear to an October Savannah wedding beginning at four o'clock and taking place outdoors:

This Lorca Beige Charleston Jacket from Gramercy Atelier is the perfect solution.

Go to the gramercy-atelier.com website to look at all the different styles of special occasion jackets and the Testimonials, where I found, for instance, this stunning jade special occasion jacket (below) and the sage green suit (here in the group photo where the other women are wearing pink or black).

About the wedding colors: Find out what the wedding colors are so you are in the same color hue. If the wedding colors are blue and silver, for instance, you wouldn't were blue or silver, but you could wear beige or green. See more green special occasion jackets at gramercy-atelier.com.

Maria Pucci's custom made special occasion jackets can go anywhere -- day or night, indoors or out. Dress them up, dress them down, they always look graceful and elegant.

Dressy enough, but too dressy.

We're here to help, so if these suggestions don't appeal to you, you're welcome to come back to us with your size and price range, and we'll try again.

~Didi

NO NECKTIE WEDDING — BUT WHAT ABOUT A JACKET?
Creative Etiquette Solutions

NO NECKTIE WEDDING — BUT WHAT ABOUT A JACKET?

Invited to an informal no neckwear wedding in June. Do I have to wear a jacket? I’m not part of the wedding party, just a roommate from college. The wedding is not in a church, but outside. The groom isn’t wearing a tie, but he is wearing a jacket.

–JG, Portsmouth, RI

Wear what your buddy the groom is wearing to his no necktie wedding. Which is probably a collared (but not button-down) shirt and a lightweight jacket with either matching or contrasting well-cut trousers.

By showing up in a respectable jacket you won't risk being mistaken for one of the caterer's waitstaff.

Whether the wedding is taking place on a beach, in your friend's backyard or a at favorite restaurant, out of respect for the bride on her wedding day, wear a lightweight suit or lightweight jacket or blazer with dress khakis, white or colored trousers.

A pocket handkerchief -- without too many points -- would be swell as well.

~Didi

Trending Informal Wedding Dress Code
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Trending Informal Wedding Dress Code

What style of wedding dress code is appropriate for a 4:00 ceremony. The reception for 50 people will follow immediately after the ceremony. We are having a cocktail hour, then dinner, and dancing. I am the Mother of the Bride. The wedding colors are blush, ivory, periwinkle (a very pale blue, similar to a Williamsburg blue). Very soft colors.

–Elizabeth, Atlanta, GA

Dear Elizabeth, Your daughter's wedding sounds lovely. Fifty guests is a perfect number. Close friends and family. About the wedding dress code:

A four o'clock wedding is traditionally a semi-formal wedding. The wedding party can be dressed formally, but the guests do not have to wear tuxedos and long evening dresses. Since this will not be a formal church wedding, the dress code is slightly informal.

The groom, best man, and ushers follow a set dress code. Meaning mid-grey, charcoal grey, or navy blue suits. There is also a trend in warm weather toward khaki suits and navy blue blazers worn with off-white trousers (quite handsome in the photos).
The bride would not have a wedding gown with a train, nor a cathedral veil of great length, and the skirt length could be knee-length, ankle-length or any length in between. The wedding dress would not be a ballgown, but even for a church wedding her shoulders can be bare (though not if held in a Catholic church).
The bridesmaids' dresses can be of different styles to suit the particular bridesmaid, but are usually the same length, fabric and color. The choice of color is up to the bride because the color reflect her dress, bouquet and wedding colors. Knee length is preferable for a 4:00 pm wedding, even when the bride's gown is long.
The mother-of-the-bride chooses her dress, usually in a shade of beige or a pastel, and sends a photo and/or description to the mother-of-the-groom (who traditionally wears beige or blue). In wedding photos the mothers-of-the-bride and groom always look the best when they are wearing the same length and basically a similar style, although not necessarily the exact same color. Neither would wear white nor any shade of off-white. The only woman at your daughter's wedding wearing white is the bride.

List the dress code on the invitation as Business Suits, or for a less informal wedding, Jackets & Ties. If it is decided that all the men are to wear tuxedos, the dress code is Black Tie; although, you'll find that most women guests will prefer to wear knee-length dresses or dinner suits, rather than a long dress.

We are here to help, Elizabeth, and happy to answer any further questions. As my info about your daughter's wedding was limited, this is a rather general answer to your important question.

~Didi

Are Black Bridesmaid Dresses Absolutely TOO Dismal?
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Are Black Bridesmaid Dresses Absolutely TOO Dismal?

In light of the Time’s Up movement, would it be too dreary to ask my bridesmaids to wear black bridesmaid dresses to a June wedding?

Everyone looked so handsome and beautiful last night during the 75th Golden Globe Awards wearing black, but I don’t want to give a negative connotation on my wedding day. Please advise.

By the way, I’m definitely wearing a black wedding dress whether my mother likes it or not! My fiancé will be wearing a black tux.

–Name Withheld

Your timing for choosing black bridesmaid dresses couldn't be better. Even without the Time's Up Movement, black bridesmaid dresses would be ever so chic and completely in vogue.

The black bridal gown is one of the most popular trends for 2018. This chic style is especially a great favorite in sophisticated cities.
Your bridesmaids won't give you any pushback about wearing black. They'll love being able to wear their dresses again, which isn't always the case with bridesmaid dresses, as you may know.

What you may want to do is to have the black bridesmaid dresses knee-length so that there is a distinct differentiation between your full-length bridal gown and the much shorter bridesmaid dresses.

When wearing a full-length black bridal gown, you probably would not wear a black veil out of respect for various religious beliefs. A greyish-silver-white veil would be lovely or a decorative hair ornament.
You can please your mother with a compromise by choosing white flowers for all the bouquets and boutonnières.

~Didi

Utterly Casual Yacht Wedding
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Utterly Casual Yacht Wedding

My question is about an utterly casual yacht wedding.

My boyfriend and I are invited to a wedding taking place at sea on a yacht. What do we wear? What should we know about a yacht wedding? The dress code is Utterly Casual. Since there are 150 guests we don’t want to be underdressed or overdressed. We’re not sure what Utterly Casual means for a wedding on a boat!

–PH, Manhattan

I can't think of anything more fun than an utterly casual yacht wedding.

You can assume that the bride and groom will be dressed casually, but more formally than their guests. They want everyone to relax and have a good time.

Most important is footwear. Shoes should be broken in so they won't slip or slide on slippery high polished flooring. Don't wear spiked heels that could damage any wooden floors.
Your boyfriend would wear a navy blue blazer or any lightweight linen jacket, a collared open shirt and dress khakis, colored or white trousers with possibly a rubber sole shoe. A tie would be optional.
As the bride will be dressed super casually, you wouldn't want to wear anything that might be dressier than what she's wearing. A jumpsuit would be terrific or any dress that moves well in the wind and on the dance floor that's not puffy with fabric or tacky with sequins.

It goes without saying that sunscreen and a hat are a must for a daytime wedding at sea.

~Didi

Bride’s Bitter Parent — Wedding Dilemma
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Bride’s Bitter Parent — Wedding Dilemma

We have a wedding dilemma. The parents of our son’s fiancée don’t get along. When I say they don’t get along, I mean they can’t be in the same room at the same time. They had a very bitter divorce. His mother is happily remarried, but his father is a bitter lonely man.

As the groom’s parents, we are hosting the welcoming dinner, but the father of the bride has requested that he not be seated near his ex-wife and her husband. He can’t be too obstinate because he’s paying for the wedding reception. How do I seat the groom’s parents?

There will be somewhere between fifty and sixty close family and friends attending the seated Welcome Dinner, so we’ve got five or six tables of ten.

–MOG, Charlotte, NC

You can control this wedding dilemma. The key here is that your dinner is seated. Strategically seat the bride's parents at different tables and put the parents positioned so that they have their backs to one another.

Arrange the place cards yourself to be sure that the bride's parents are not in earshot or sight range.
Assure the bride's father he is seated at "his own table." Include only close friends or relatives at "his table."
As the hostess, he's your responsibility. Especially since he is hosting the wedding reception by generously footing the bill.

Alternatively, you, as the hostess, can seat the bride's father to your right at your table.

Then you would seat the bride's mother at your husband's table, to his right.
The step-father can probably be seated anywhere but at your table.

By seating the bride's parents as guests of honor at two separate tables, you should be able to appease both of the bride's parents.

This won't look awkward because the seats to the right of the host and hostess are the guest of honor seats.
Also, by cleverly positioning the place cards so that the bride's parents are out of earshot and sightline, you've done your duty.

~Didi

Wedding Fashion In 2017
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Wedding Fashion In 2017

What are the dos and don’t trending in wedding fashion in 2017 for the wedding families as well as the wedding guests? As a wedding planner I have to keep up on what’s in and what’s out.

–LB, Newport, RI

From the wedding dress to the last dance, watching fashion walk down the aisle and on the dance floor is entertaining. Here are trends we're seeing in wedding fashion this year from strapless and backless to shades of pink:

The Strapless or backless wedding dress is fine as long as the church, or house of worship, doesn't mind if the bride is showing a lot of skin. Some religious institutions require covered shoulders, which is easily done with the addition of a bolero that can be unbuttoned and taken off for the reception. You would have to ask about a dress with an up-high slit to reveal a thigh.

To tan or not to tan is always a concern because if the tan isn't professionally applied, it is apt to rub off and stain clothing. A certain amount of tan looks better in the wedding photos, but you don't want to overdo it with a fake orange glow. If the bride looks tan that's OK, especially if the groom is tanned as well.

Like shoes, undergarments you will wear at your wedding should be worn to dress fittings. Wedding shoes should be broken in, even if it is around the house while cooking dinner or doing laundry.

Likewise, experiment with makeup and hairstyle ahead of time so there is no disappointment with the wedding photos.

It is still NOT acceptable for women guests to wear white, because the bride is the only person wearing white. Black is always chic, but red is an attention-grabbing color, as are loud prints. A guest's outfit shouldn't be seeking scrutiny unless of course it is monochromatic.

However, guests don't have to be dressed in perfectly color coordinated outfits from hat and dress, to hand bag and shoes.

Hats are great at the ceremony whether it is held indoors or out, but leave the hat in the cloak room or car before going into the reception. Hats don't belong on the dance floor, unless the hat is a fascinator or a small brimless cocktail hat. Any hat with a brim can deter social kissing.

Comfort is always key, which is why a handbag on a small chain is easier to handle than a clutch.

Hanging gracefully from the shoulder, a bag with a long strap is easier to manage when you have a glass of champagne in your left hand while the right is handshaking.

~Didi

Post Wedding Reception
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Post Wedding Reception

My question is about what to wear to our post wedding reception.

I am going to North Carolina after our West Coast wedding. I have never been in the South and he is from an old Southern family.

What should I wear as we are having a reception for the Southerners who could not come to the wedding, held at a local historic house.

I am a 5’6″ brunette, size 12, busty and I like simple classic things, and I don’t wear short skirts as I am older and have too many leg veins!!

–PM

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding on the West Coast followed by a post wedding reception on the East Coast. I think I know just the look for you. Go to Maria Pucci's website at gramercy-atelier.com to see the special occasion jackets that can be worn with slacks. You can party anywhere in a special occasion jacket. It will become your go-to outfit for semi-formal events. Since I don't know your favorite colors or style, this beautiful, regal blue special occasional jacket here looks bridal without being lacy and fluffy. Mrs. Pucci's jackets are available in a variety of styles, fabrics and colors. Since they are made to order, they are especially attractive on "busty" ladies. As I don't know what time of year you will be in North Carolina, you can certainly find a more springtime or summer color from her selection than this beautiful blue. At any rate, if you don't see the perfect outfit you will at least get an idea of the style and kind of elegant outfit I am recommending. Do let me know if we can be of further assistance.

~Didi

Breaking Wedding Dress Code
Creative Etiquette Solutions

Breaking Wedding Dress Code

We are having a casual 5:00 pm wedding indoors. The wedding dress code for the groomsmen is rather unconventional. They are wearing jeans and brown western shirts. The bridesmaid have turquoise dresses. I am the mother-of-the-groom and found out the mother-of-the-bride is wearing “brown pants and a turquoise blouse.”

What should I wear? I do not feel comfortable wearing pants to the wedding. I planned on wearing a dress.

–JT, TX

Dear JT, Your question about breaking wedding dress code is not unusual. It sounds as though everyone is doing their own thing by wearing what they want to wear to your son's wedding. There is no reason, whatsoever, that you cannot wear the dress you planned on wearing to your son's wedding. As the bridesmaids will be wearing dresses, and probably the bride, too, you certainly won't be the only person donning a dress. As you know, there are different kinds of dress pants. It may be that the mother-of-the-groom isn't happy with the look of her legs. Then why not wear an ankle-length dress? She may feel she looks best in flattering dress slacks. Do a bit of detective work to find out exactly what she is wearing. Palazzo pants? Dressy pantsuit? You say brown pants and a turquoise blouse; that could mean a dressy pantsuit or palazzo pants with a tunic. images-20

Be sure to let the mother-of-the-bride know what you are wearing. Briefly describe your dress to her in the hope that she will open up and tell you more about her outfit. It used to be that the mothers wore outfits similar in style, length, and color, but nowadays anything goes. Traditionally, it used to be the responsibility of the mother-of-the-bride to coordinate her outfit with the mother-of-the-groom. Pants are fashionable so we expect to see them mainstream in weddings. Here is a special occasion jacket from Maria Pucci with slacks that is a popular look at her Gramercy Atelier, gramercy-atelier cover-marnyjacket

Be yourself. Wear what you feel the most comfortable wearing at your son's wedding. unknown

~Didi

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in:

You may also be interested in: