Do the outfits of the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom have to be the same length? What is the wedding dress code for long vs. short dresses?

–Brogan, Buffalo. NY

When deciding the wedding dress code for the length of the mothers of the bride and groom's dresses, think about the wedding photos. In group photos, consistency works best. Here are real life recent photos of mothers at their children's wedding that illustrate their camaraderie because they're wearing dresses similar in style and color tone, and yet in the cut and color that suits them best as individuals. Here below, the color tones of the mothers of the bride and groom dresses work well in this photograph as they frame the bide. The colors of the mothers' dresses reflect their personalities, and having the same sleeve and hem length,and low neckline shows a certain uniformity.   My personal favorite is below. The elegant Dowton Abbey look for these mothers of the wedding couple, who are dressed in similar (although not the same) style tea-length dresses, one is in a pink taupe and the other is wearing ecru.   Above, at this less formal wedding, notice that the mothers of the bride and groom are both wearing sleeveless cocktail dresses that fall just below their knees. The necklines of their dresses are also the same. The colors, black, white and brown, don't clash. The full-length of the bride's dress steals the show making it evident that she is the belle of the ball. At the below more formal wedding, the wedding couple and their respective parents are totally coordinated in a rather dignified style and colors.   Even though the mothers of the bride and groom below look are a bit too match-matchy, you get it that they are really in sync with their outfits. (Traditionally, neither of the mothers would be wearing white, because the only woman wearing white at the wedding should be the bride.) However, these two mothers illustrate harmonious compatibility, which as everyone knows is rather important.   Here below, the two mothers of the wedding couple are wearing similar cocktail-style, knee-length outfits in compatible summer colors, coral and turquoise. Colors that work better for their individual personality and coloring.   Lastly, and most traditionally, you'll find two lovely mothers framing the beautiful bride wearing similar style pastel, sleeveless, long dresses.

~Didi

What is the wedding dress code for the MOB? Does the mother-of-the-bride wear a long dress for a 4 p.m. wedding?

–Trish

About wedding dress code for the MOB. The mother-of-the-bride along with the wedding couple determine the style of the wedding. The hight of elegance is consistency and from the start your daughter's wedding should reflect one style: very formal (white tie and evening dresses), formal (tuxedos or dinner jackets and long or short dresses), less formal (business suits and cocktail dresses), or informal. Having one style throughout -- from the invitation and wedding dress code to the wedding toasts and thank-you note -- will simplify the whole decision making process. The earlier in the day the wedding, the less formal the dress code. The later in the day, the dressier the attire. Traditionally, a four o'clock wedding is not formal. Even when the bridal party are in tuxedos and long dresses, it doesn't necessarily mean you ask guests to dress as formally. Especially nowadays when more guests than before will be traveling from afar, tuxedos and evening gowns can be tricky to transport and who is going to iron them when the guest arrives at their destination? The MOB picks the dress style that suits her best. If she doesn't feel she will be comfortable traipsing around in a long chiffon evening dress from two in the afternoon (when she'll have to get dressed) until midnight (when she finally gets to bed), then she opts for a more comfortable knee-length cocktail dress, a sheath with a coordinating jacket, or a dressy dinner suit (often called an opera suit). Often when there is an early afternoon ceremony and a dinner wedding, the MOB will wear a knee-length dress to the ceremony and change into an evening dress for the dinner dance reception. Personally, I would prefer a well-designed, thick, silk, knee-length dinner suit with 3/4-quarter-length sleeves. You have to think about the season, the climate, as well as the venue of the wedding, and the wedding colors; again, based on the overall formality. A hipster or rustic barn-style wedding is different style from a preppy seaside or country club wedding, a hotel ballroom wedding is more formal than a destination wedding on a dude ranch or in your backyard (see "Father of the Bride"). A trim, buff and younger MOB might be more confident showing a lot of skin and wearing a dress that accentuates her curves, whereas an older, more solid MOB might prefer to be covered from head to tow. As the MOB sets the dress code for her generation of mothers (groom's mother, aunts, grandmothers, godmothers, stepmothers), she needs to consider a style that they are comfortable with as well, style-wise and price-wise. Keep in mind that some churches and other houses of worship require women to cover their arms and/or heads before entering. We are happy to assist you further, however, we would need to know more about the MOB and her daughter's wedding to give our best answer. To start, here are more dresses (scroll down) from the current Neiman Marcus website under Mother-of-the-Bride.

~Didi