Baby Shower Etiquette

What is the current baby shower etiquette for the hosts, the honoree and when it is honoring a second baby? Can there be more than one host? Can it be a couples shower? When it is a second baby, do guests bring children who are the age of the first child? Does it seem like a push for presents if you invite people whom you know won’t be able to attend?

–A.C., Providence

About baby shower etiquette. The birth of a new baby is always a reason to celebrate. New fresh linens, underclothing, plush toys and books are appreciated whether it is the first, second or fifth baby. Pooling resources makes a lot of sense — especially when so many of the celebrator’s family and friends want to celebrate but don’t have time to organize a shower.

Delegating a point person for all the elements simplifies the process as long as each person understands their responsibility. Although showers for the expecting mother are popular, expecting couples’ showers and same-sex expecting couples’ showers are on the uptrend.

Group of women admiring gifts at baby shower

Making sure the expectant mother or the parents of the honoree have designated an online registry such as at sproutsanfrancisco.com, burtsbeesbaby.com, diapers.com, buybuybaby.com, giggle.com, or potterybarnkids.com makes returning duplicates or exchanging sizes much easier. Adding that information on the invitation is helpful to guests.

Finding printouts for fun games to keep guests amused can come in handy, but silly party games aren’t necessary. Especially if guests are being invited to bring their child of the same age to play with the unborn’s sibling(s).

The honoree contributes by being on time and giving a small gift to each of the hosts. Such as a herb plant wrapped cheerfully or bottle of wine to thank them for their time and contributions. It goes without saying that the expectant mother sends a thank-you to everyone who attended. The gift and gifter are carefully recorded by one of the guests.Whom to invite? In making up the invitation list with names and addresses or email addresses, the honoree can include people whom she knows won’t be able to attend as long as she also sends them a birth announcement after the baby’s arrival. It is understood that retirees and relatives in nursing homes are not expected to send a gift, but they appreciate being included and often will reciprocate with a card.

The invitation itself should incorporate the honoree’s name a and the phrase Baby Shower, the date and time of the shower, and the exact location, as well as the name of the online registry. You are best served when the RSVP includes a cutoff date. When sending the invitation or evite two weeks before the shower date, the cutoff date should be two days prior to the party to allow for an accurate headcount for the right amount of food and beverage. An August 14th shower, should have a cutoff date of August 12th.