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Not to be a Scrooge, but the size of our family has outgrown our budget and some of the joy has been taken out of the holidays.

My wife and I are retired. Even though we still live in our family home and can accommodate our children, their partners, spouses and our grandchildren for Christmas dinner, giving everyone a wrapped gift has become an expensive and time consuming chore for both of us.

The tradition is that we receive a list of names with a gift idea that we’re expected to buy and wrap to put under our tree. How, after all these years, do we break with that tradition?

–T.G., Swansea, MA

As soon as possible, send out an email or Christmas card on which you express your distress concisely with humor.

It could say something such as this:

“Santa called to say he won’t be stopping by our home any more the night before Christmas because he feels that our adult children are too old for toys. Since he will still be visiting all of you the night before Christmas, we hope you will happily open your presents at home before you come. We look forward to gobbling with you on Christmas, Much love, ……”

This way you still have time to decide if you want to give the children small presents for their parents to place under their own trees. ~Didi

~Didi