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My girlfriend broke up with me and the holidays are here. We were suppose to visit both of our families to announce our engagement. I even bought her the ring she wanted. She was going to come to the Christmas party at my office and those who hadn’t met her are eager to meet her. It’s off. We’re done and I don’t know what to say. It makes me too emotional to have to answer questions about why we broke up. What do I say?

–Anonymous, Windsor, CT

When breaking up, whether during the holidays or any other time of year, the simplest –and kindest — thing to say is this: We decided jointly that we weren’t right for each other.

Leave it at that: you mutually agreed that you were not meant to get married.

In breakups like yours it is a two-way street, you’re both seeing the relationship going in different directions. That means you are in agreement that you are not headed in the same direction.

It is better to go through the holidays single, footloose and fancy-free, than dangling like a Christmas bulb that’s too heavy for the tree.

The strings of your heart will slowly pull free as you go out and about, at first pretending to have a good time until you recognize the fact that you are free to have a great time.

~Didi