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We have a wedding dilemma. The parents of our son’s fiancée don’t get along. When I say they don’t get along, I mean they can’t be in the same room at the same time. They had a very bitter divorce. His mother is happily remarried, but his father is a bitter lonely man.

As the groom’s parents, we are hosting the welcoming dinner, but the father of the bride has requested that he not be seated near his ex-wife and her husband. He can’t be too obstinate because he’s paying for the wedding reception. How do I seat the groom’s parents?

There will be somewhere between fifty and sixty close family and friends attending the seated Welcome Dinner, so we’ve got five or six tables of ten.

–MOG, Charlotte, NC

You can control this wedding dilemma. The key here is that your dinner is seated. Strategically seat the bride’s parents at different tables and put the parents positioned so that they have their backs to one another.

• Arrange the place cards yourself to be sure that the bride’s parents are not in earshot or sight range.
• Assure the bride’s father he is seated at “his own table.” Include only close friends or relatives at “his table.”
• As the hostess, he’s your responsibility. Especially since he is hosting the wedding reception by generously footing the bill.

Alternatively, you, as the hostess, can seat the bride’s father to your right at your table.

• Then you would seat the bride’s mother at your husband’s table, to his right.
• The step-father can probably be seated anywhere but at your table.

By seating the bride’s parents as guests of honor at two separate tables, you should be able to appease both of the bride’s parents.

• This won’t look awkward because the seats to the right of the host and hostess are the guest of honor seats.
• Also, by cleverly positioning the place cards so that the bride’s parents are out of earshot and sightline, you’ve done your duty.

~Didi