Cash Wedding Gift: What Is Correct?

I have an etiquette question about giving a cash wedding gift. My nephew was married last weekend. My family of five adults–me, my husband, and three children, all in their twenties, attended. So I thought $200 per person would be the $1,000 wedding gift. Is that correct? I typically ask my sister these questions, but she’s the mother of my nephew and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

Last question, our daughter who lives and works in Paris is attending a wedding in the south of France and she is a bridesmaid. Do you know what the protocol is for a wedding gift in France? Does she give cash to a wealthy couple? Sorry to pester you with these questions. Any advice would be appreciated.

–Deb, Portsmouth, RI

Deb, you did exactly the right thing for your nephew by giving him a cash wedding gift.

For your daughter’s friend the bride, she should check out the wedding couple’s wedding website for details of a “liste de mariage” (wedding register or bridal register). By typing in the couple’s names in the browser and adding “liste de mariage,” it should come up. Bridal registries are great because you want to give the couple something they want and not just give them something you think they should have. The other bridesmaids will probably know where the registry is listed. If all else fails, try Le Bon Marche: http://listes.lebonmarche.com

Since your daughter the bridesmaid has expenses attending the wedding, she will not be expected to give a major gift. The $200. (in francs) sounds like too much. As you say, the wedding couple are wealthy. In Paris your daughter can easily find a pair of candle sticks or a picture/photo frame that would be more memorable – and less expensive. Also, there are honeymoon funds where you can, say, buy the couple a couple of bottles champagne for their hotel room.

I’d be curious to know what your daughter ends up giving the wedding couple.