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At a large family cookout with friends of all ages, one thirty-something couple spent the entire time on their cell phones. Either the husband or wife would walk off to the sideline and pace back and forth while talking with their phone to their ear. Their only child was at the party, so the calls were not out of concern for him. No other guest indiscreetly used their phone for anything other than taking photos of the birthday boy blowing out his candles. Should I have pointed this out to the couple or bit my tongue?

–Melinda, Beverly, MA

Had you chewed them out, your worst summer party memory would have been replaced by the one you would have created if you had commented on their indiscrete disrespectful behavior. Had the couple known how to fit in, they would not have been acting like consummate outsiders needing to be seen as more socially connected with others while at a party with their friends.

~Didi