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What age is appropriate for children, under the age of 18, to attend a 4:30pm wedding and reception afterwards, in a large country club? And what should a girl of 10, and boys wear for this event? Thank you very much.

–Lynn

In my humble opinion, children under 21 do not belong at grownup parties where alcohol is being served. Even children who are part of the bridal party, such as ring bearers and flower girls, after attending the ceremony and photo shoot should be taken home. An exception would be a big family wedding where activities have been organized and caregivers are on hand to supervise. For insurance/liability reasons, country clubs have become careful (with good reason) about not allowing children into areas of the club where alcohol is served. Signs at the bars say, No Children in The Bar Area. Children means anyone under the legal drinking age of 21. Teenagers should be forewarned.

If it is not an adult only wedding and your children have specifically been invited by name, then the club has agreed that children can be present and are taking on the liability. If you are not sure, call the host to ask a couple of questions: Will there be other children my children’s ages? Will there be accommodations at the reception just for children? For instance a children’s table and/or a separate room showing a movie such as ‘Frozen’? In other words, how will children be entertained over the course of a three, four or five hour reception that includes a cocktail hour, dinner and dancing?

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s dress the children. When the wedding invitation does not specify Black Tie or Formal Attire, you can assume the dress code is Suits & Dresses. A teenage lad would wear a suit, or at the very least a jacket/blazer, with dress khaki trousers or grey flannels, a collared-shirt and handsome tie. That is the dress code for boys ten years and older. A ten-year-old-girl would wear her best party dress, tights, and party shoes.

We do need to caution you about bringing children to a large country club wedding. If there are not any children their age, they may not have a good time. At any rate, you’ll have to keep a constant eye on them when you should be having a good time yourself.

~Didi