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I’m planning a baby shower for my coworker in a restaurant and the invitation has to include “pay for your own dinner.” How do I put that politely in the invitation? I’m looking for examples of how to say it in a nice way but I can’t find anything. Can you help me please?

–M.B., Manhattan

Under the RSVP information, add this line:  Separate Dinner Checks

When you ask guests to pay for their own food and drinks, expect that they will spend less on the baby shower present. If all the guests are paying their own way, then they are essentially co-hosting the shower with you. Be sure to tell the waiter that there will be separate checks for everyone, but the guest of honor. To be considered a good host, you should probably pay for a couple of bottles of wine or a round of drinks for the table, as well as the new mother’s dinner. When you talk to your coworkers, make it clear that you are ‘organizing’ the dinner, but not paying for all of it. Through word-of-mouth those coworkers will get the picture.

~Didi