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How much should we spend on a wedding gift? We are not family, but consider ourselves good friends of the bride and groom?

–Allison and Jake, Washington DC

The best gift is something the wedding couple really, really need and will treasure for years. For instance, if they have chosen a silver, china, or glass pattern, help fill out a set.

According to American Express, the average guest spends a little over $100 on a wedding present and as much as $600. On top of expenses to attend a wedding.

The rule of thumb is that a wedding invitation is a social bid, if you attend, you reciprocate with a present that costs approximately the cost of the guests “plate.” Meaning equal to the expensive of hosting the guest. A couple would send a $200 gift from the bridal registry.

The exception would be when the guest has already sent an engagement present or taken a gift to the bridal shower, because understandably and the amount of gifts waters down the price of each present.

It goes without saying that when the guest is a student, retired or unemployed, he is not expected to go into debt over the cost of a wedding present. The wedding couple would rather have that guest with them on their wedding day than have him not attend, because he couldn’t afford a gift. In return, the guest would write a thank-you to the wedding couple to say he had a great time at their wedding.

It is always primarily about the thought that went into selecting the wedding present. Sending a gift from their registry is a present you know they want whether it costs $15 or $125+.

To find a wedding registry go to theknot.com or registryfinder.com, and checkout the wedding couple’s wedding website.

~Didi