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  • DatingTips forTwits
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

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DatingTips forTwits

My brother’s into dating, but he’s a twit and can’t keep a girlfriend. He’s a one-date kind of guy. I don’t know where to start in helping him.

–Amy, North Scituate, MA

Hi Amy, make your twit brother, who is into dating, a gift of Will Forte’s book, 101 THINGS TO DEFINITELY NOT DO IF YOU WANT TO GET A CHICK. Our watered down abbreviated list appears here:

  • Never use cheesy pick-up lines.
  • Never take anyone to dinner without bathing and dressing for the occasion ahead of time.
  • Never compare her to others you’ve dated.
  • Never confess details of past relationships.
  • Never take her to dinner and attempt to pay with an outdated coupon or credit card.
  • Never use her credit card.
  • Never go on a date with jagged finger nails.
  • Never reveal old grudges.
  • Never tap the table, while dining, as though you’re playing a set of drums.
  • Never engage a skywriter to express your feelings.
  • Never take card or board games too seriously.
  • Never introduce her as your girlfriend early in the relationship.
  • Never brag about knowing a celebrity or name drop.
  • Never be critical, because criticism destroys relationships.
  • Never pick at or scratch your ear, nose, mouth, hair or nails.
  • Never name your boat after her mother.

~Didi

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