My brother’s into dating, but he’s a twit and can’t keep a girlfriend. He’s a one-date kind of guy. I don’t know where to start in helping him.
–Amy, North Scituate, MA
Hi Amy, make your twit brother, who is into dating, a gift of Will Forte’s book, 101 THINGS TO DEFINITELY NOT DO IF YOU WANT TO GET A CHICK. Our watered down abbreviated list appears here:
- Never use cheesy pick-up lines.
- Never take anyone to dinner without bathing and dressing for the occasion ahead of time.
- Never compare her to others you’ve dated.
- Never confess details of past relationships.
- Never take her to dinner and attempt to pay with an outdated coupon or credit card.
- Never use her credit card.
- Never go on a date with jagged finger nails.
- Never reveal old grudges.
- Never tap the table, while dining, as though you’re playing a set of drums.
- Never engage a skywriter to express your feelings.
- Never take card or board games too seriously.
- Never introduce her as your girlfriend early in the relationship.
- Never brag about knowing a celebrity or name drop.
- Never be critical, because criticism destroys relationships.
- Never pick at or scratch your ear, nose, mouth, hair or nails.
- Never name your boat after her mother.
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