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What do you do when someone in conversation at a holiday party invites you and your boyfriend to come for dinner with she and her husband on New Year’s Eve, but there was no follow up? I said, Yes, Yes, but I now realize she was trying to find out which of her friends were available.

In planning her New Year’s Eve dinner party she was feeling the waters to find out who might help her pull together an interesting evening. I realize this. Is it my job to follow up to ask what time should we arrive and what can we bring? Or do we make other plans?

–Annie, Brooklyn, NY

Have a backup plan. It is the host’s job to follow up with an email or phone call telling you what time to arrive. That will give you the opening to thank them for the invitation and to ask what you can contribute.

If you are not assigned something to bring, such as a bottle of champagne, a six-pack of beer, a platter of cheese and crackers, or dessert, offer the host a couple of choices.

~Didi