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Are some costumes more appropriate than others for elementary school children? We’re trying to find the right tone and message for Halloween.

–A&MF, Providence

For those who participate in the celebration, Halloween is all about trusting those you don’t know well.

Whether you are a tricker-or-treater knocking on doors or answering the bell tone warning the advance of a total stranger.

It can be like taking a kid to a too-scary movie when what they take away from it is that it is wrong to be afraid. They wonder why daddy or mommy want them to have negative feelings.

A little bit of scary goes a long way. Our culture has become so desensitized to violence and horror that we’re forgetting the developmental needs of the child.

• Are they having trouble sleeping or need to sleep with the light on? If so, take the scariness down a couple of notches.

Halloween can be a time for personal growth when trying on personas. It not only can be fun, but possibly a revelation for deeper insight.

• If a husband and wife are donning Trump and Hillary masks, does that mean they are in opposition politically? Talk to the child about the meaning of their costume.

Psychologist Jared deFife, Ph.D., warns of the ten psychologically most disturbing costumes for young children:

• Werewolf – Dr. deFife says nothing stretches a child struggling with body issues more than when he is dressed like a dirty beast.
• Justin Bieber/Lady Gaga – No two are worse role models crying for attention.
• Harry Potter/Superman – Both are narcissistic characters who think the world would be a better place if everyone was like them.
• Vampires – Does your child want to play a blood thirsty narcissists? Dead inside they don’t like to be seen in harsh daylight.
• Ghosts – Are they the products of parents who would rather that they be out of the house?
• Wonder Woman – is marketed as the modern day Barbie with the same small waist , large breasts, and long legs and hair. Scary aspirations for a youngster with a bright mind.

• Iron Man – has definite father issues.
• Where’s Waldo – the paranoid adolescent hiding from strangers who are trying to hunt him down.
• Mad Scientist – are nerds and smarties, who end up in debt because they’re crazy.

~Didi