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Newly divorced and dating, I’m not sure of the proper gender etiquette for holding open a door for a woman. Although I never ran around to open the car door for my wife, I always made an effort to open any door we were approaching together. Is it condescending, or not, to hold the door open because the person behind you is a woman? Am I expected to hold the door open for her?

–JW, Newport, RI

Look at it this way. It is not only about gender etiquette. When passing through an entrance or exit that is not automated and you can see or hear someone coming up behind you, wouldn’t you slow down a bit to hold the door open a nanosecond longer so that the person following could catch the door for him or herself?

Or are you so self-absorbed that you don’t give a fig about the person behind you, regardless of their gender?

~Didi