GUEST ETIQUETTE DILEMMA: MODERNIST MANNERS

Our question is about a guest etiquette dilemma.

A lovely friend very graciously allowed us to stay in her apartment while she is away. She evidently left in a rush. On the nightstand is a bottle of lubricant. Should we (1) take it so she isn’t embarrassed, (2) put it in a drawer in the bathroom so she isn’t embarrassed, (3) do nothing, or (4) assume she’s a very thoughtful hostess who thinks of her houseguests’ every need?

–ES, Park City, Utah

I like (3), but go with (4)) and leave the container of lubricant in place. Except, of course, if you use quite a bit of the lubricant, then you’ll need to replace it with a fresh container — even if you can’t find the exact brand — beside the old one (unless the old one is all used up and you’ve thrown it out). Just the way you would replace a bottle of wine or champagne or a six pack of beer — even if she left the lubricant for you as a welcoming present. Welcome her back.

That said, more importantly before you leave the apartment:

(1) fold all bed linens, towels, and dish towels that you’ve used neatly near, on top of, or next to the washing machine. If there’s isn’t a washing machine, find the laundry hamper or simply leave those linens neatly stacked at the foot of the bed.
(2) empty wastebaskets and don’t leave garbage distilling in the garbage can, dispense of waste properly.

Not to worry if you can’t replace the lubricant with the same brand.

Remember, if she’s hip enough to leave her lubricant out in the open, then you shouldn’t give this dilemma another thought unless you use it all up. Like drinking her wine or coffee, you replace when you use a noticeable amount.