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Hanky Panky

This is about hanky-panky. At my best friend’s annual Christmas party where the same couples come together each year, there was a scandal. Outside on the deck two spouses — not married to each other — kissed in a long embrace for 10-15 minutes. Our good friend did not see her husband kissing another woman, whom we know.

Our dilemma is this. Do we tell our friend that we saw her husband kissing some else? Next year the same group will be invited again, plus both couples may be at the same party on New Year’s Eve.

–MJ, Jamestown, RI

Hank-Panky is on the dark side of flirting. Flirting is one thing. Although, even flirting can cross into a grey area that can grow dark.

Most people don’t seem to be aware of the fact that many couples are able to rekindle their relationship, bounce back to normal and become stronger than ever after an indiscretion.

This doesn’t mean I’m advocating affairs. I’m just not sure you should overreact, because most couples are able to survive an infidelity because at the end of the day, they really want to stay together.

There are studies that show that 25% of married men and 11% of married women have at one time or another been unfaithful to their spouse.

The fact that two people married to different people kissed romantically does’n’t mean that their marriages are bad. Desire isn’t necessarily love.

Their chemistry at this year’s Christmas party may not be the same next year, or even as intense this New Year’s Eve.

We never really know what goes on in other people’s marriages, and quite frankly it is none of our business.

When couples come together at alcohol-infused late night parties, after a couple of drinks desire sometimes gets out of control. Does it mean that your friend’s husband doesn’t love your friend? No.

~Didi

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