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My boyfirend of three years broke up with me and Christmas is coming. I don’t know how to tell my family and friends. They had bets that he would proopse to me during the holidays. I’m too numb and angry to be depressed. What do I tell people? I don’t want everyone feeling sorry for me and have it be the main conversation of our family’s Christmas?

–P.E., London, UK

It is what it is. Hard to explain just yet, because you don’t want to over-explain or complain — and have everyone feeling sorry for you.

Write him a letter expressing how you feel about him. But do NOT send it. Hide it so nobody stumbles upon it, but remember where you’ve hidden it. You might want to rip it up — or show it to him one day, if you get back together or reconcile to become good friends.

What to tell your friends and family is how you ‘re feeling about the breakup. For the time being, try to rationalize that you ‘mutually agreed to end your relationship.’ Tell them that and no more. For the moment, you just want to save face. Say that when you’re ready to talk about it, you will, but not to ask any questions just now. Give yourself time to breathe, reflect on what’s happened, and to sort out your feelings.

Take yoga classes and breathe your anger and disappointment out the door. You want to get your mind in a place where it is at peace with the fact that a breakup has occurred. Otherwise, Christmas will become a pity party, and apparently you do not want that.

~Didi