How To Help An Alcoholic Friend When You're Not Family

How To Help An Alcoholic Friend When You’re Not Family

During the holidays I found myself in an excruciatingly difficult social situation with the husband of a good friend. I am not paranoid, but at a Christmas party he followed me out of one room and into another where he cornered me to give me a message.

He asked that we sit down to talk. Hearing kindness in his voice, we sat down and shot the breeze about our careers and our kids. After the ice was broken, he put me on notice. But didn’t say what I was to do about it.

If his wife doesn’t stop drinking, he told her he would leave her even though he loves her. He clearly can’t watch her deteriorate further.

As her friend, what is my obligation? According to her husband, it sounds as though he has given her a verbal ultimatum. I’m not going to repeat what he said to me to her.

–Name Withheld

You cannot take sides. Your good friend needs your support.

Her husband needs you to listen to him. He’s already given her the ultimatum. If she is a really good friend, the best you can do is offer to go to AA with her.

You can also tell her husband that you would be willing to participate in an intervention, but he has to organize and set it up with other members of her family.

~Didi

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