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I want to help my son. He recently lost his first big job and he’s in a slump. How do I go about offering to help without emasculating him in front of his wife. I don’t mean a handout, he’s already moved back home and he’s been sending out his resume and just attended a job fair. We like having them, but only temporarily because they’re having their first baby and my wife and I already downsized into a smallish condo. What if I hired a job coach to help him with his job hunt?

–A.K., Providence

Take him aside when his wife isn’t around and ask him directly: Would you consider letting me hire a job coach to work with you on strategizing? Tell him that submitting his resume into black holes is a crap shoot, whether sent to a corporate website or posted on a job board, because most companies hire candidates through personal referrals. Your son needs to network through friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends. A certified, experienced career management professional should not only be able to doctor his resume, but come up with a realistic game plan. Such a job coach can be found through careercertification.org.

If your son is too embarrassed to take you up on your offer, tell him he can pay you back, or that it is an early birthday/Christmas present. You’re not enabling him, you’re merely helping him move on. Leave it up to your son to talk to his wife about your generous offer.

~Didi