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Do you have to bring a holiday party hostess gift to the host when you attend a Christmas party? Are we expected to bring a wrapped gift? We’re seeing that some people bring a gift, but not so many. Can I merely send a thank-you card from my partner and me?

–PT, Wilmington, DE

Here is the drill on the holiday party hostess gift.

Keep to the spirit of the event. The next day send a holiday card adding a short hand-written note saying something such as this, “Dear Alice and Ted, We loved your party. Thank you for including us and introducing us to your many friends. Looking forward to seeing you both in the new year. By the way, we love your library and your wonderful book collection. The pheasant pâté was sublime. Again, thanks ever so much for sharing the joy of Christmas. Cheers, Charlie and Paul”

Gifts are not required when you attend a holiday party. However, a thank-you note is a must. Even if that thank-you note is scribbled on the back of a Christmas or New Year’s card. Or is delivered as an email.

For those who have given you a hostess gift in the past, find small boxes of chocolates you can slip into your coat pocket to leave for the host; be sure to attach a tag with your name. Make it easy for your host: a small gift like that does not require an acknowledgment.

~Didi