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We’re a same-sex married couple who have recently moved into our second home in a very old-fashioned and yet somewhat sophisticated community, and we’re here for the holidays. We’ve been fortunate to have been invited to several Christmas parties where, obviously, we know very few of the other guests. Everyone is quite jovial and friendly, but we’re wondering what is the proper etiquette for introducing two married men?

–Two Proper Bostonians, MA

Introduce yourself and let the new acquaintance introduce himself back to you. At that point, if your husband is standing by, he would pipe up and introduce himself.  However, you or he may or may not mention that you are each other’s husband.

A hetrosexual couple, would add, in introducing their spouse, “And this is my husband, Adam Smith” — or “And this is my wife Amy Grant.” New Englanders are not as upfront about coming out to strangers. Same-sex male partners, for instance, are more likely to make a reference to their husband in conversation in the hope that the new acquaintance will say, “And where is your husband?”

Should that happen, you would signal for your husband to come to your side so that you can introduce him. If he’s across the room, you would lead your new acquaintance to him to make the introduction.

~Didi