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–L.E., New York, New York

Color me shocked. You mean you don’t want to spend a night with people you said you would sit with? Next time, tell the person that you have to check with either your husband, another friend or  couple, before committing. Then be sure to say, “I’ll call you, if we can join your table.”

Should she be so cheeky as to not get the hint and call you after you’ve essentially said, “I’ll call you, don’t call us.” say, “Oh, dear, I thought I said I would call you, if we were planning on being seated with you.” If she pushes, tell her you’re sitting with people who had already organized a table.

What about now that you’re stuck?  You have three options. Call the event person who organizes the sitting and say you do not want to sit with Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So, and to please not tell them. Professional event organizers deal with such requests more than you could imagine. Second, grin and bear it, but when she asks you about next year, tell her you will let her know, if you need a table.

Lastly, be honest and say, “Thanks for calling, but we actually have great fun taking our chances by being seated with people we don’t know. That’s how we make new friends.” Your brutal honesty might sting, but she’ll get it.

~Didi