• Home
  • Ask Didi
  • FAQs
  • How Tos
  • Be Your Best
  • Meet The Challenge
  • About Didi
  • “NEWPORT ETIQUETTE”
  • Home
  • Ask Didi
  • FAQs
  • How Tos
  • Be Your Best
  • Meet The Challenge
  • About Didi
  • “NEWPORT ETIQUETTE”
  • Humiliating Guests
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Bridal Registries — Wedding Etiquette
IS A FIST BUMP OR ELBOW BUMP GOOD ETIQUETTE?
Kissiquette
Humiliating Guests
Four of us have had a weekly tennis game for a dozen or so summers. This past June when we started up again something extremely humiliating happened. While cooling off at the water cooler after playing, the youngish clerk in the pro shop approached us to announced to our friend that her tennis fees had not been paid. The look on our friend’s flushed face went from red to stark white. It was excruciating to witness. In unison we quickly turned our heads pretending we hadn’t heard the accusation. The incident is haunting. We’re still wondering how to assure that nothing as mortifying ever happens again.
 
Unbeknownst to the rest of us, one of our doubles group took the clerk aside to reprimand her and tell her how upset we were at seeing our friend humiliated. Apparently, she said that her boss had sanctioned such action. It is hard to believe. At the very least the clerk should have taken her out of earshot of her tennis buddies. Should we report the incident to the club president? Instead,wouldn’t it have been more gracious if someone from accounting had called our friend to gently remind her that her account wasn’t up-to-date?  

–Name Withheld, Stonington, CT

The question is whether to let this mishap slide or try to rectify it? An apology to the maimed primary victim is in order. The damage is done.

  • On the one hand, you wouldn’t want the scapegoat clerk who was following orders to get fired.
  • So that leaves the culpability to the culprit, the person who ordered the clerk to embarrass the member in front of her friends.
 It is best not to put such a complaint in writing because you never know who’s going to see it.
  • Tell someone close to the president your story and let them deal with it as they may.
  • It sounds like a matter of policy. How to inform a member that he’s not paid up.

~Didi

Enjoy this post? Share it with others.

Please give us a try and subscribe to the NewportManners.com newsletter!

As you’ve shown an interest in Newport Manners & Etiquette, Didi Lorillard thought you may wish to subscribe. You can easily unsubscribe at any time. Thank you ever so much!

* indicates required

 

more_topics

Featured
"Party Chic"
Accepting A Compliment
Acknowledgements
Addressing
Addressing
Adult Child
Adult Children

see more…
Wedding
Who To Invite
Welcoming Dinner
Weddings
Wedding Shower
Wedding Registry
Wedding Reception Dinner

see more…
Relationships
Adult Child
After the Break Up
Allergies
Breaking Up
Bullies
Children

see more…
Office/Business
Cubicle Etiquette
Dress Code & Grooming
E-Mail Etiquette
Employer-Employee
Interview Tips
Office Parties

see more…
Ask Didi
your étiquette question
Explore
Didi’s collection of responses
discover
How To...
POPULAR TOPICS
  • Codes + Conduct
  • Awkward Situations
  • Entertaining
  • Dilemmas
  • Wedding
  • Relationships
  • Manners
  • Tricky Conversations
  • Sticky Social Situations
  • Family
  • Dress Code
  • Conversation Etiquette
Never leave a party without thanking your host.

Our Newsletter

As you've shown an interest in Newport Manners & Etiquette, Didi Lorillard thought you may wish to subscribe. You can easily unsubscribe at any time. Thank you ever so much!

* indicates required



 

  • Home
  • FAQs
  • How Tos
  • Be Your Best
  • Meet The Challenge
  • About Didi
  • “NEWPORT ETIQUETTE”
  • Sitemap
© 2014 All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact didi@newportmanners.com site design AtlanticGraphicDesign.com