I’m married to a man who spends more time engaged with his iPhone than talking to me. Forget about trying for an intimate dinner. Making plans are a disaster. I’ve learned that the only way to get him to agree to a plan is to text him. We’ll be sitting having breakfast in a coffee shop and he’ll text me about weekend plans. We never have eye contact. He wonders why we don’t have more sex. I tell him to ask his iPhone. What is a newly wed to do?
–JC, NY, NY
Your husband is “phubbing” you. Snubbing you in favor of his cellphone. Without eye contact you won’t have sex. You won’t have sex unless you can make eye contact.
Set boundaries or walk. Demand more respect.
- When you come home your phones stay by the front door. If either of you violates that rule, you have to give the other one a hundred dollars.
- Outside your home, compromise: you can check your phones but you cannot engage in activity on your phones, such as gaming or watching a show.
When he’s with you while on his phone, he should be reading the news to you or the message from his brother, and not leave you to your own devices when you’re supposed to be spending time together.
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Accepting A Compliment