Dating Table Manners

My question is about dating table manners.

My bro says I have terrible table manners and I eat like a slob. He thinks one of the reasons women breakup with me is because my manners are anti-social. He says he won’t be seen at a restaurant with me. Is he just kidding me?

–Bill, Providence, RI

Table manners for formal occasions, business events, and dating in restaurants are more rigid than dining at home with family or friends.

Nonetheless, you should know that surveys found that when millennials were asked whether good or bad table manners were important in a partner, the overwhelming response was clear: bad table manners were a deal-breaker/date-breaker.

Why? Because table manners are near impossible to change. We learn eating habits from a very early age; they become deeply engrained over time and bad habits are difficult to break.

Follow other people’s lead. For instance watch how your bro behaves and eats to figure out specifically what he’s complaining about. If he’s a good friend, he’ll give you some pointers as to how to make a better impression when dining out.

Even though your future partner is probably not going to fall out of love with you because you have bad table manners — which she knows she won’t be able to break — there’s no reason you shouldn’t concentrate on improving your table manners.

*Bad table manners rank higher on the list of dating no-nos than any other complaint.

Looking for love? Here are simple tips any bro should know and remember.

Leave the baseball cap at home.
Dress appropriately by wearing a collared shirt, trousers, and closed shoes — nobody wants to see your dirty toe nails.
Be aware of your body language and don’t slouch, sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table.
Turn off your phone.
Don’t pick at your skin, ears, nails or scratch your scalp.
Encourage your date to order first, but be sure to tell her what you’re ordering so that she knows whether or not to order a starter course.
Don’t assume everyone is a sharer, which means don’t ever take food off of another person’s plate.
In a group situation remember to talk to everyone not just one person and never put your back to the person seated next to you.
Place your napkin in your lap and leave it there — and not on the table — until you get up from the table.
Don’t stretch your arm across anyone at the table to reach for anything including the salt and pepper.
Don’t talk with your mouth full of food.
Say please and thank you to the waiter.
If you have to leave the table, to check your messages or return an emergency call, don’t leave your date alone for longer than five minutes — or she may not be there when you get back.
The person who does the inviting pays for the meal unless ahead of time you’ve agreed to share the cost.