Monogram Etiquette

With wedding seasons fast approaching I’m considering various gifts from the wedding registries and am wondering how to monogram initials on bar glasses, leather goods and towels?

–Ali, Brooklyn, NY

Find out what monogram the wedding couple have chosen.

Once I gave a set of towels from the bridal registry and my friend the bride was upset because the monogram wasn’t the way she wanted it. Monograms can be tricky, but they can also be great fun.

In general, this is the drill for monograms:

For gifts to the bride of linens and lingerie, use first, last, middle initial with her new last name initial centered larger. The monogram for Edith Lorillard Cowley: ECL

For the groom monogram on leather or bar items including glasses for Robert William Cowley: first, middle and last first initial all the same size: RWC or all 3 initials with first and middle initial stacked next to the slightly larger last name initial.

The monogram for a married couple on silver, for instance, would be simply the last shared initial C, or for Edith and Robert Cowley: ECR

For a same sex couple, such as Andrew Brown and Jared Kelly, use both first initials: A+J or both last name initials: B+K or stack both last names with the K directly underneath the line: B

When the bride keeps her maiden name, that’s when you can get really creative with two large last name initials centered between two smaller first name initials on either side: ELCR

Monograms for children are the same as above with the girl’s last name initial in the middle larger and the boy’s last name initial the third large initial. Using only the child’s first initial or first name spelled out can be fun as well as charming: Olivia or Felix.

There are no monogram etiquette rules carved in stone, so you can be creative.