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How do we coordinate the wedding dress code for the mothers and grandmothers?

My daughter is getting married in December and it will be at 4:00 pm. Should the mothers of the bride and groom wear short or long dresses and does the grandmother of the bride also wear the same length as they do?

–Kandee, Arkansas

The mother-of-the-bride sets the wedding dress code for the mothers based on the dress code set by the bride and groom.

The time of day and venue of the wedding is also a factor. The earlier in the day the wedding, the less dressier the dress code.

A four o’clock wedding probably isn’t Black Tie or Formal Attire. It is Suits and Dresses. Meaning Cocktail Attire:  Business suits and knee-length cocktail dresses.

A four o’clock wedding would be cocktail attire for the guests even if the bridal party is wearing tuxedos and long dresses. Which leads the mothers and fathers of the wedding couple deciding and agreeing on how dressy their attire will be for the wedding.

In my opinion, the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom would wear cocktail attire for a four o’clock wedding.

The grandparents would follow suit. If you, the mother-of-the-bride, are wearing a knee-length dress, then the grandmother of the bride would wear a cocktail dress or a dinner suit.

Also, called a evening suit, it is cocktail length — the length for a grandmother is just below her knees — and is made of a lightweight fabric, such as a thick silk (or silk and wool blend in winter) and it is decorated with pretty buttons and/or piping.

A sheath with a coordinating jacket would also be lovely. The reason for the jacket is to cover the arms in December. Most grandmothers seem to prefer to have their arms covered and a dressy jacket does the trick.

Think about the wedding photos because they’ll be around long after the wedding.

After choosing an elegant and dignified style, consider color. Personally I love the look directly above of the bride in white and the mother and grandmother in white and black.

The grandmother should wear a color that compliments your dress in the same tone. For instance, if you’re wearing cobalt blue, she would wear navy blue. Here are examples below — although it is not a color I would choose — but you understand the concept: the grandmother, the bride, and the mother-of-the-bride with the older women wearing outfits close in color that fall just below the knees:

Here is another nice pairing although it is obviously a summer wedding, you get the idea:

~Didi