Post Memorial Service Reception - Asking Mourners to Pay

Post Memorial Service Reception — Asking Mourners to Pay

My question is about how to ask mourners to pay their own way at the post memorial service reception.

How do I put it in a nice way that after my sister’s Memorial Service that the family would like everyone to join them for a bite to eat or have a drink to celebrate her life and add in that they have to pay for their own drinks and food? I don’t care for the word “Dutch” so I’m not sure how to word it properly….It will be announced after the service is over and just don’t know how to word it…

–TB

The best way to go about asking mourners to pay their own way at the post memorial service reception is through word-of-mouth ahead of time. “We are having a gathering at such-and-such after the service and we hope you will join us. There will be a cash bar and we’re asking everyone to pay their own way.”

Or, ahead of time you can get the word and say, “Instead of flowers we’d rather have your company — if you don’t mind paying your own way, we hope you’ll join us at such and such.

At the end of the service the priest should say, “The family invite you to a gathering at such-and-such where you will pay your own way.”

It is best not to use the expression “Dutch Treat.” It is not politically correct.

The Dutch are stereotyped as being stingy or tight fisted. That isn’t the case here, because the only way you can make the gathering work is if people pay their own bill.

Be sure to let the restaurant or bar know that everyone will be paying their own check.

This is not a big deal.
People are used to being asked to pay for their food and drinks.
You’re offering to organize the get-together. You’re giving them the option to come for a drink and possibly stay for lunch, but they will be paying their own bill.

Be prepared, because you may end up paying for a couple of free loaders and a few who never got the message.

Your closest friends and relatives should help you to get the word out.

Lastly, one thing you can do is to provide sandwiches and cookies and have people pay for their beverages. Then you would say, “There will be a cash bar.”