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  • Is The Old Fashion Gentleman Chivalry of Opening Car Doors Dead
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

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The Lonely Part-Time Spouse — Friendship
Is The Old Fashion Gentleman Chivalry of Opening Car Doors Dead
Does anyone ever open a car door for another person anymore? Is it still done? Would I be remiss or dorky by not running around to open my date’s car door?

–WG, Bar Barbor, ME

You would have to race to see who undoes their seatbelt first. The only time anyone ever opens my car door is when I valet park. He deserves a tip when he brings me back my car.

  • The etiquette goes back to when ladies exited horse drawn carriages while managing layers of a long skirt with petticoat as they jumped to the ground. It was useful to have a gallant companion there to lend a hand. 

In many cases, the doors of early cars were inordinately heavy, often stuck, and difficult to open.

Then there is the theory that in opening a woman’s car door  a man reveals well intentioned sexism and views women as warm and pure, yet helpless and incompentent — weak. If you’re all for gender equality then you’re probably not going to be opening your date’s door door in fear of insulting her. Unless of course she’s carrying a small child or packages and you’re being helpfully considerate.
  • The need for another person to lend a convenient hand or have the strength to open a heavy door on a date no longer exists.

~Didi

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