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We actually followed your advice about giving a holiday tip — to a point.

We didn’t tip the sanitation workers because they are never the same guys.

We had always tipped the paper delivery person because we want our paper every day; he then included a thank-you card with the next paper.

For the first time, we tipped the mail carrier and he thanked us personally and then in a greeting card.

My husband and I use the same hair-stylist and we give her one nice holiday tip and she was very grateful.

Contrarily, we tipped our once a week cleaning person with a cash tip in a cheerful holiday card and she has not said a word. Since we each work sometimes up to ten hours a day, a cleaning person, who comes in three hours a week, is part of our budget. Was she expecting more?

–LT, Weston, MA

When you give a holiday tip you shouldn’t expect a thank-you note, because it is usually an unsolicited gift. Unlike, for instance, when you attend a wedding and are given information about the bridal registry, from which you are expected to send a present.

It is hard to say without knowing her, if your house cleaner was disappointed by her tip or she simply didn’t know that she should acknowledge it.

You could certainly show her the paper deliverer’s card and say, “To think he comes every day, rain or shine, and still finds time to thank us for his holiday tip.”

If that not-so-subtle hint doesn’t register, figure she doesn’t want to get it and don’t expect even a word of thanks next Christmas, let alone a card.

~Didi