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I made a terrible mistake and apologized, but I know that merely saying sorry wasn’t enough. My boyfriend is barely talking to me, he is so mad at what happened. It was a silly mistake, which I made worse by trying to cover it up while over-explaining, but I got caught in an untruth.

I keep telling him I’m sorry, but he so doesn’t seem to believe me! How do I convince my boyfriend that I am truly sorry.

–Name Withheld

Either we’re someone who annoyingly says sorry way too often, or we have difficulty ever saying “I’m sorry”- even when we know we’ve done something wrong and hurt someone.

Could it be that apologizing to someone, for many, is a sign of weakness?

• For much of the population, saying sorry hasn’t made its way into their interpersonal skills set.
• There are those who simply cannot recognize apology-worthy situations.
• Others simply do not feel the value of the apology.

Making a genuine apology helps to restore the relationship as well as the reputation of the person who did something that warrants a more authentic apology.

• Accept responsibility for your wrong-doing action.
• When appropriate reenforce that apology by saying it won’t happen again.
• Be sure to make it clear that you understand and acknowledge the ramifications of the wrong-doing.
• So don’t be vague, look for clarity in what went wrong.

The purpose of saying sorry is that you want to regain the trust and respect from the person you’ve offended.

Find a time when neither of you are stressed out, uptight, angry or tired and say that you want to have a serious talk. Go over what you did wrong and why you think you made the mistake. Then acknowledge that you panicked and tried to coverup, which only made things worse.

Lastly, end by saying you won’t do whatever it was – and be specific – ever again.

~Didi