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My adult children neglected to bring wedding gifts to a close friend of the family’s wedding. Now the mother-of-the-groom is upset with me and them and came right out and told me she almost didn’t invite them to the upcoming baby shower and she HOPES they will bring a baby gift. I feel her spiteful behavior is as bad as what my children did. Don’t you agree?

–D.F., Providence

What are we going to do about these freeloading adult children who attend family celebrations empty handed? Don’t they know any better? What kind of role model are we as parents when we have not taught the adage that there is no free lunch? You eat the cake, you send a gift from the wedding registry. The mother-of-the-groom was speaking her mind, but two wrongs really don’t make a right. It is never too late to teach good manners, so phone your children and tell them, “Under no condition do you attend the baby shower without sending or bringing a gift from the parents’ baby registry.” Find out where the new parents are registered for baby presents and tell your adult children what you sent/or bought to bring to the shower, as a reminder that they cannot get away with their crass behavior. In spite of the groom’s mother’s rudeness, you can make this right

~Didi