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My husband says we need to write a thank you note to one of his colleagues who helped get our son admitted a prestigious school on scholarship. He may well have gotten in on his own, but Bill insists that I write a handwritten letter. We were also contemplating sending him a gift such as a case of wine, but we cannot afford a Premier Cru. What should we do?

–Name Withheld, Providence

About the importance of the thank-you note when someone has gone out of their way to do you a favor.

Forget the Premier Cru, or the Grand Cru, and be grateful for the fact that your husband’s colleague stuck his neck out, not to mention making the time commitment, in promoting the acceptance of your scholar to the school of his choice.

If you could afford to send him a case of wine from Bordeaux or Burgundy, your son wouldn’t need financial aid.

Incidentally, it is up to your husband to write the thank-you note to his colleague. If he was your colleague and not your husband’s, only then would it be your moral obligation.

When you’re not keen on writing a thank-you note in longhand (using a pen instead of a computer), you can certainly type a message on good quality paper, sign it and mail the envelope, which can also be handwritten.

At the very least, write three short paragraphs that include the following:

• State the good deed and why the school is a good fit for your child.
• In closing, include the names of your wife and the child in your final expression of gratitude:  Alice and George join me in thanking you for taking the time to assist in the admissions process.

Remember, one can never be too thankful when expressing gratitude.

~Didi