3 Excellent Wedding Toast Etiquette Tips To Prevent A Disaster

My question is about wedding toast etiquette.

We went to a family friend’s wedding this past weekend and the father-of-the-bride lectured us for 45 minutes about his wonderful, brilliant, beautiful daughter. The best man spoke for at least half an hour about how much he admired the bride and groom. When the groom got up to take the mic, we had had enough already. The groom went on and on for another half hour.

As the mother of a bride to be, I’m wondering what the timing for the toasts should be and how to enforce limits for my daughter’s upcoming wedding?

–Susan, Westport, CT

Here is an appropriate timeframe for a wedding that is followed by a dinner reception and includes tips for toasting:

1. Establish A Wedding Timeline – For Instance

5:00 pm Wedding

6:00 pm till 7:30 pm Drinks and Canapés

Dinner and Dancing: Welcoming toast by the father/mother-of-the-bride, best man/woman toast introducing the groom, followed by the groom’s toast introducing the bride

2. Send out a memo to the speakers/toasters:

Speeches during dinner are to be absolutely no longer than ten minutes each — and much shorter if it’s a toast that asks guests to “stand and toast.” Five minutes per speech/toast – or less – is the ideal length of time.

3. Remind toasters of the following:

Toasters that go over that timing are not delivering a toast, but a lecture.
Toasts and speeches should be loving, humorous and respectfully short.
Wedding toasts are not the time for roasting the honorees. (Roasting takes place at the welcome dinner the night before the wedding.)