You may also be interested in:

A colleague and fellow scholar contacted me about getting together on what seemed like a quasi date. I say quasi because it was a professional event to which he was buying the tickets.

At the last moment I let him know that I couldn’t keep the date because of a family emergency, and that I wouldn’t be meeting him outside the event space.

I’ve since tried several times to connect with him, because I would really like us to spend time together. However, he is not answering my emails.

I’ve now sent him two suggesting we meet up. In both I apologized for being a no-show.

How long do I wait before contacting him again. Should I even keep trying?

–Katherine, Washington, D.C.

Cease after the third strike. Your quasi-suitor may have been personally offended by your not showing up for a date to which he had bought tickets.

His ego may be bruised. Does he feel you stood him up?

It didn’t sound like the kind of event where he could hawk your ticket outside the auditorium, so he probably took a loss.

Not responding in a timely fashion to your two followup emails that attempted to make amends may be his way of protecting himself from being stood up again.

You can always take a third chance.

Buy tickets to a professional event, or a concert or play, and invite him to join you, or you could ask him to meet you at an art opening or exhibition.

If your prior behavior left him feeling that he had been teased, your taking the lead may perk his interest.

Should you not hear from him in a week, forget it.

Invite someone else.

~Didi