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My family is new to the neighborhood and to this country. It is the first time our children 5, 11, and 13 have had the chance to trick or treat and we want them to be safe and do it correctly. How do we prepare them for Halloween?

–A.T., Seattle

Of all the holidays, Halloween is the most perfect for teaching ‘trick or treaters’ good manners. Once your children have their costumes, rehearse a script of what they should do and say, and how to express their appreciation. Safety should be the first concern, but reinforced manners will stick forever.

Have them go outside, ring your bell and ask, “Trick or Treat?” Houses welcoming ‘trick or treaters’ will have a pumpkin or other Halloween decoration to signal to the ‘trick or treaters’ that the inhabitants have prepared treats. Your children would not knock on the door of a home that was not lit and did not have a Halloween decoration. When taking their treat, they should not be fussy. Even if they do not like the treat, they shouldn’t walk away without taking one.

Once back at home, you would go through their Halloween bag or bucket with them to discard any treat that is not in its original wrapping; if they are allergic to nuts, read the labels carefully.  In your role as the chaperon, you would hold back by staying on the sideline watching, listening, and try not to interfere.

The resident of the house might ask each child about their costume, so you would role play and do the same, but you don’t want them to linger and become engaged in a lengthly conversation. Unless they are encouraged to take more than one treat, they would only take one. Two or three if they are very small. Remind children that they are are not allowed to enter the doorway into any house or apartment. Before closing your door at the end of the rehearsal, they should say, ‘Thank you, Happy Halloween,” and you would say, “Happy Halloween, you’re welcome.”

The golden rule is: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

~Didi