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My question is: I have a friend that is getting married next February. She has been living with her fiancé for the past 10 years and they have 2 young children together. Is it appropriate for her to wear a white wedding gown and a long veil? She asked me and I honestly do not know. She is 28 yrs old. Thank You!!!

–Emerald

Yes, it is totally appropriate for your friend to wear a white wedding gown and veil. There is no rule carved in stone that says she cannot. The point of saying that she should not, is merely to suggest that she should not make a mockery of her wedding vows. After ten years of of living together and siring two children, their relationship sounds tried and true. It is hard to image that anyone would feel the bride would be mocking her vows by wearing a white wedding gown and veil after ten years of cohabiting with her partner and raising their two children.

Traditionally, the veil emphasis the bride’s modesty and signifies that she is well-behaved. Who is to judge anyone’s modesty and behavior? Not me. What I do question is this. The consistency of style. The more formal the wedding attire, the more formal the wedding as a whole from the traditional formal invitation to the seated ‘candle light dinner dance’ and wedding dress with train and veil (and perhaps long gloves).

The longer the veil and train on the wedding dress, the more formal the wedding ceremony and reception. Your friend should be consistent throughout all of her wedding planning from the dress to the ceremony and reception. All aspects of the wedding should reflect the style and taste of the wedding couple. As to your question, a long veil signifies a black-tie wedding, where all the male guests wear tuxedos or dinner jackets, and the ‘candle light dinner’ is seated. Ask her what the style of her wedding is in order to help her figure out the length of her wedding dress and veil.

A Cathedral (floor length and beyond) white veil looks best with a longer wedding gown that has the embellishment of a train and long white gloves would be worn. A Chapel (ankle length) wedding dress would pair with an elbow length veil and long white gloves would probably not be worn. A shoulder length veil is worn with a knee length wedding dress. The length of the veil reflects the formality of the ceremony and reception. Or at least it is supposed to be somewhat of a barometer. But if she is a laid-back type of bride, she should just wear whatever she chooses to wear on her special day.

~Didi