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We are having a casual 5:00 pm wedding indoors. The wedding dress code for the groomsmen is rather unconventional. They are wearing jeans and brown western shirts. The bridesmaid have turquoise dresses. I am the mother-of-the-groom and found out the mother-of-the-bride is wearing “brown pants and a turquoise blouse.”

What should I wear? I do not feel comfortable wearing pants to the wedding. I planned on wearing a dress.

–JT, TX

Dear JT,

Your question about breaking wedding dress code is not unusual.

It sounds as though everyone is doing their own thing by wearing what they want to wear to your son’s wedding. There is no reason, whatsoever, that you cannot wear the dress you planned on wearing to your son’s wedding. As the bridesmaids will be wearing dresses, and probably the bride, too, you certainly won’t be the only person donning a dress.

As you know, there are different kinds of dress pants. It may be that the mother-of-the-groom isn’t happy with the look of her legs. Then why not wear an ankle-length dress? She may feel she looks best in flattering dress slacks. Do a bit of detective work to find out exactly what she is wearing. Palazzo pants? Dressy pantsuit? You say brown pants and a turquoise blouse; that could mean a dressy pantsuit or palazzo pants with a tunic.

Be sure to let the mother-of-the-bride know what you are wearing. Briefly describe your dress to her in the hope that she will open up and tell you more about her outfit. It used to be that the mothers wore outfits similar in style, length, and color, but nowadays anything goes.

Traditionally, it used to be the responsibility of the mother-of-the-bride to coordinate her outfit with the mother-of-the-groom.

Pants are fashionable so we expect to see them mainstream in weddings. Here is a special occasion jacket from Maria Pucci with slacks that is a popular look at her Gramercy Atelier,  gramercy-atelier

Be yourself. Wear what you feel the most comfortable wearing at your son’s wedding.

~Didi