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About wedding guests inviting other guests. Please tell me how to include my plus one same-sex partner on the guest reply card to a wedding?

Mark and I have been together for over a year and I think it would be rude of me to attend my friend’s wedding without him. The line where I’m supposed to fill in my name starts with a M__________________

–Jake, Portland, OR

Hold your horses. When wedding guests invite other guests, it gets complicated if there is no indication that you are being asked to bring a “plus one”– as on the reply card above left.

In that case, don’t assume anything. Before filling out the response card, the polite way to go about this would be to ask the person you’re closest to — the bride, groom, bride’s mother — whether or not your invitation includes bringing along a “plus one.” With the cost per person of every guest at least a hundred dollars, your host will be trying to keep expenses within budget.

Once, you’re given the go ahead, fill out the card with your name first preceded by the title Mr., because it is the more familiar name and thus the likely name on the invitation list.

Write out your name on the line using the M as the upper case M in Mr. and add a lower case r followed by a period — r. — after the M.

Like this: Mr. Jake Wilson and Mr. Mark Diaz.

Should the two names be too long for the line, write your guest’s name under the line directly under yours.

When sending your wedding present from the wedding couple’s bridal registry, be sure to include on the gift card that it is from the two of you; it goes without saying that the cost of your gift would reflect the approximate cost of hosting both you and your plus one at your friend’s wedding.

~Didi