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Wedding Invitation RSVP — Newport Manners & Etiquette

How do I reply to a formal wedding invitation RSVP when there wasn’t a response card included with the wedding invitation?

–Barbara, Torrance, CA

   About the process of the wedding invitation RSVP.
     We’re seeing a trend in the *RSVP that’s putting people off-guard. You’re not the only one befuddled.
     Wedding invitations are arriving without the requisite reply card and return self-addressed envelope.
     And, what’s more, there is no choice to make as to whether to check off beef, chicken, or fish on the menu order for the reception dinner.
     Reserved for formal weddings, the etiquette of not having a reply card is actually quite chic.
In six or seven separate lines, on your best personal stationary, you handwrite: 
 1. The name(s) of the person(s) replying:  Ms. Barbara Brown or Mr. and Mrs. John Brown
2.  Information as to whether you are accepting or regretting:  accept(s) with pleasure or sincerely regret(s)
 
When accepting:
3.  The third line is the politeness:  the kind invitation of
4.  The name(s) of the host(s):  Mr. Williams or Mr. and Mrs. Williams
5.  The date of the wedding:  for July twelfth
6.  The time of the wedding:  at six o’clock
 
When regretting:
3. The third line states the reason you are regretting:  that because of a previous engagement
4. The fourth line says who is unable to accept:  she/they will be unable to accept
5. The politeness:  the kind invitation of
6. The name(s) of the host(s):  Mrs. Williams or Mr. and Mrs. Williams
7. the date of the wedding:  for July twelfth
 
For example:
Ms. Barbara Brown
accepts with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Williams
for Saturday, July twelfth
at six o’clock
or
Ms. Barbara Brown and Mr. Andrew Chase
sincerely regret
that because of a previous engagement
they will be unable to accept
the kind invitation of  Mrs. Williams
for Saturday, July twelfth
  • As you can see from the above examples, there isn’t much punctuation, which is why it is important to place the facts on six or seven different lines.

When the stationery you have doesn’t fit the occasion, use a boxed note card: either a simple plain note card or a
correspondence card with a motif, like the ones below:

 
Addressing your reply envelope:
Using the envelope that came with your correspondence card, or stationery, address the envelope to the name and address that you see on the original envelope in which your invitation was enveloped.
  • When there is only the return address and no name with the return address, use the name of the host or hosts that appears on the wedding invitation on your reply envelope.
________________________________________
*RSVP is a process used with social invitations to invite the guest to reply to the invitation by accepting or regretting the invitation.  Literally  translated from the French, répondez s’il vous plaît means “reply as you please,” or more simply “Please respond.”

~Didi

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