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What are prenups good for? My parents insist that I make my fiancé sign a prenup when he is perfectly solvent and hugely successful. It seems cruel and it is definitely not sexy. My father has had a prenup made up, but I can’t bring my head or heart around to asking my fiancé to sign it. How can I politely get out of having to do this or politely ask my fiancé to sign it — without having one of them hate me?

–S.L., Santa Monica, CA

This is a hugely important, yet really tricky conversation, but you’re not alone. Take heart in knowing that only three percent of married or engaged American couples confess to having a prenuptial agreement (according to the New York Times).

Nevertheless, members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers report that over the past few years there has been a 63% increase in signed prenuptial agreements.

As soon as possible — and at least a month before your wedding — make a date with your fiancé when you’re flying high about your up-coming marriage, and gently ask your fiancé if he could, please, do you one huge favor to humor and indulge your father.

Sweeten your request by offering to make a compromise on another possible source of contention that you know you can keep: For instance, if he doesn’t like your cat or cats in general, you’ll find another home for it.

Before you do this, look up your state’s marriage and divorce laws, because he might not know them either.

You should also have a serious conversation before the prenup talk about who is paying for what? Will you be going back to work after having children? What happens if one of you dies? And, How much should you try to save?

By the way, a respected law firm won’t handle your prenup if it includes any clause that deals with such life-style issues as, If you cheat on me, I get a set amount of money. If you gain over a certain amount of weight, I divorce you. Or, If you become addicted to drugs or alcohol, I divorce you.

However, you might want to add a digital privacy/social media clause.

Look here to see what a prenuptial agreement sample contains in answer to  your question, what are prenups good for?:  www.prenuptialagreements.org/prenuptial-agreement-sample/

Furthermore, after a decade of blissful marriage to your soul mate, you can always tear up your prenup while celebrating an anniversary.

~Didi