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What to Do When You Don’t Get An Invitation

What do I do if I didn’t get a save-the-date or wedding invitation to my college roommate’s wedding?  He invited me to his engagement party last summer and I went, despite the fact that I had to travel a great distance. Then when I talked to him and his fiancée at another friend’s wedding last fall, he insisted again that I ‘had better come’ to his June wedding in Houston. He even said I would be getting a save-the-date card.

I have the same address now as I did for the engagement invitation. Should I call him, or would that be rude? If I am invited, I want to be able to buy my tickets at least six weeks out.

–Old Roommate, Milwaukee, WI

Clearly the fact that you did not receive a save-the-date-card or a wedding invitation to your friend’s wedding must be an oversight.

Decide how much attending this wedding means to you. Especially since you’ll have to pay for travel expenses, accommodations, and send a wedding present from the bridal registry.

Ready to bite the bullet? Yes! Then text your friend in your own texteez: Are you expecting me at your wedding? Haven’t received invite.

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Don’t over-think this. Guest lists get cut in half all the time. It is all about the bottom line; the cost per person and not about your friendship. They may think that because you live far away, they are letting you off the hook about your not having to pay travel expenses.

Look at it this way, you don’t have to send a wedding present from their bridal registry unless you want to bite back. If you don’t go to the wedding, and you didn’t receive an invitation, you don’t have to send a wedding present.

When you are verbally invited by the groom, what do you do when you don’t get a wedding invitation? You ask the groom — or do nothing.

Not to give you false hope, but there is a slight possibility that you didn’t make the cut for the A List (the first batch of invitations mailed), but after the regrets are counted you may find that you’ve been invited after all. It’s like being wait-listed for a college.

~Didi

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