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About when families host visitors. When my teenage daughter’s boyfriend visits he always leaves the toilet seat up. Is there a polite way to ask him to put the toilet seat down after he’s flushed?

My husband and I encourage our daughter to spend time at home with her boyfriend instead of living in fear of what she’s doing and where they are. We want them to feel safe and happy in our home, but he needs to learn to put the seat back down. By the way, he has two brothers and no sister.

–Anonymous, Providence, RI

How families behave and react toward visitors matters.

It’s up to your teenage daughter to gently give her boyfriend the headsup about the toilet seat. All she has to do is to say, “I know you have two brothers, but in our house my parents are really big on the toilet seat being put down when you’re done. It’s like a rule of the house. Can you humor them, please. Thank you!”

~Didi