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I’m confused about the manners and etiquette of why people stand up or don’t stand up, and when to stand and when not to stand up when someone comes into my office?

In particular when a boss or older person enters my space or when a woman coworker comes in.

–George, Boston, MA

What’s the difference between a man and a gentleman? Not all men are gentlemen.

• A gentleman is accountable for his actions.

If the man respects women in general, he stands when a woman enters his space and is instantaneously identified as a gentleman.

• The exception would be in the workplace where you might talk several times in a day — or at home when you’re hanging out relaxed and casual.

Why stand? Out of respect — no matter the gender — for the person entering your office and especially if the person is a bit older.

• I may be older than you and I’m a woman, but when you make an appointment with me and enter my office, I’ll stand to greet you with a handshake because I assume I’m going to respect you. I give you the benefit of the doubt.
• On the other hand, If I’ve just fired you for lying to me and you walk into my office, I won’t stand up for you because I don’t respect the way that you’ve behaved.

When to stand:

• In business you would stand up out of respect for your boss or a colleague, although if the person has been in and out of your office recently, you wouldn’t do so.
• You wouldn’t stand for your assistant, the mail deliverer or tech person, because s/he enters your office often and is part of your working team.
• You would stand for a client, your boss’s wife or a coworker’s relative, even if they stopped by to chat announced.

Socially you would stand to greet or welcome any woman or man, who appears to be eighteen or older, entering the space where you’re seated. You are only given an exception if you are infirm or quite elderly.

*Don’t forget to button your jacket when you stand up and then release it when you are seated again.

Then if you’ve both sat down to talk, you would stand up when s/he started to leave.

~Didi